Liar Liar...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Yet another manventure! This one had bad news written alllll over it... I should have known when a guy does not have a picture...

HE IS HIDING SOMETHING

Whether it is....his age or that he is just plain nasty. It is a bad idea. And me? I found out the hard way. The I trust too much way. The but he was soooo wonderful when he emailed me...or called...or text. Oh no no noooo ladies we can't be fool ourselves anymore by making someone into something he is not.

We'll call him the manager.

Again...we met on a site. He's 25, never married, no kids, a manager, an ex-marine, and he has the cutest dog in his picture! Can't see the face but the dog is realllyyyy adorable! So what did I really see? Marine with a cute dog. SOLD!

A trend you will soon see... I love guys in uniform! Policemen, firemen, military guys, baseball players... YUMMY sign me up! o-kay let me gather my thoughts again and stop acting like a construction worker....

So we decided to meet...me and the manager. He says he will be coming straight from work so he will be in his work clothes. Which is fine because I have to dress business casual at work. No prob no prob... We decide to grab coffee...something quick to meet and decide. Because really it takes like 5 seconds to decide if someone is for you... I have it down to a science now. But...I still can't just not meet someone. Why? I am way too nice. I give too many chances to those who do not deserve it.

I pull up to the coffee shop...

get out...

F MY LIFE

I can't turn....run...get in my car...tell him I am sick...he saw me

Maybe...that's not that guy! Yeah I mean lots of people order two coffees and wait for people.. right?!

It was him...unfortunately.

This is what it comes down to...

Manager= Parts manager of a vaccum company (not a big deal but come on tell the truth)
office attaire= a repair man jumper (that's a slight problem)
25=32 (WHAT THE F)
no kids=one kid (more lies)
never married=well not married but moved to pa because he got his "bitch" preggo

His defense for the "lies" his secretary made his profile... uhhh no thanks!

Then... the whole time he was texting...and calling girls "hot chicks" blah blah blah I was come on dude if you are not interested let's just end this so I can go home and call alllll my friends about it and laugh...

But noooo he actually ASKED me to have dinner


I said no

NEW RULE
BACKGROUND CHECK!

XoXo
**ME**

A free dinner...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

It's the beginning of May (2008)... and the Marine left for his training base in California...it is sad of course but he's still in the states and you never know when he really have to leave... it could be in a week, two months or another year...

The marine says he gets to come home before he goes over... I'll be waiting...

But for now I decided to keep up with the manventures...

but what I did was an well... I just wanted a free dinner...

from...

the level 10 clinger!

UGH! I think I was in desperate need of attention and of course the number one stalker on the block will give me the much needed attention I needed

I flirted with the waiter...ordered a chocolate martini and ordered the best meal ever...

I had fun...

I don't think he did...

wow I'm a bitch but seriously I think it is a well deserved for the level 10 clinger....

Okay I need to make another rule
NO PITY DINNERS... it is bad for both people attending

Xoxo
**ME**


----------------
Now playing: Meredith Brooks - Bitch
via FoxyTunes

Come sail away...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

It's 11pm...(well not right now but it was then) It was the end of April and I went to see my sister down in Virginia. I received a call from the Marine for the first time in about a month.

"Hey! Where are you?"
My Response In Virginia
Marine "I drove in for the weekend so I could see you...

I was asked to go back to Iraq...

but... at the end of May I have to leave for California for some training"

I cry...

for most of the night...

This would happen to me...

Xoxo

**ME**

Cougar rawrrr

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

First and foremost... new look to the Blog! How do you like it?! It may change from time to time til I find on that fits me the most! :)

Here we go back to the juicy stuff

I was at my favorite bar. Drunk. Hot. Thirsty....not looking for anything but the inspiration to sing one more song.

I went up to the bar to take a shot with my best friend and buy myself a pitcher... I'm turning to walk back to my table when I hear my name...

***....you're *** right?

Yeah...

He was standing there in a vintage tee...perfect sideburns and a baseball cap. Out of the movies I know! I was waiting for him to lift up a boom box and blast "Your Eyes". Yet still I had no idea who mystery man was!

He said He met me at a party... well not really met me but I was playing beer pong and flashed him and his teammate repeatedly...

oops! I WOULD!

But... he thought I was dating the guy I was with... yeahhh that would be one downfall to having one of your best friends a guy!

Anywayyy we exchanged numbers to get together...


He was 21 at this point... I was 23 sooo I would not say I am officially a "cougar" but he likes to call me that ;)

rawrrr

Xoxo
**ME**

Why I love my job!

Hey there my favorite followers, newcomers and future husband...oh you too future exes,

This is a real time blog. Right now. While I'm at work...we have


NEW RESIDENT INTERNS AND NEW PHYSCIAN ASSISTANTS! Yeay! This is the best part of every intern turnover at the hospital.

There is one specifically who is insanely attractive... Here is our interaction...

Me looking through mail
Him "lose something?"
"No just getting my mail"
Him "You did something with your hair...straightened it?"
"Yeah, I did"
Him "It looks nice"

Well now this is a big deal. Usually the interns are snooty, pretentious and never speak a word. But not mr. baseball build, dark haired, blue eyed, dimples when he smiles intern man.

TAKE ME I'M YOURS!

Maybe I'll straighten my hair everyday...

Xoxo
**ME**

The application

I think instead of an about me I am going to do an application. Something like....

I'm pretty amazing and met some amazing people along the way. I am sick of guys trying to be something they are not and being too scared to either commit or tell me I am not the one. If or when we first kiss and my foot doesn't do that *pop* like in the movies than it probably won't last more than a week or two. No offense but I am in the search of Mr. Right not Mr. Right-now... fill out my application to see how you size up

Username:
ARE YOU ALL MALE?:
Real Name (will not hurt if you don't answer):
Age*:
Sign:
Location:
Occupation:
Have you ever been married:
Children?:
Are you close with your family?:
If you could do ANYTHING than what you do now what would it be?:
Do you know the difference between a fumble and a error:
Football or Soccer:
Chinese or Pizza:
Favorite outdoor activity:
Do you go to the gym at least 4 times a week?:
Beer or Mixed Drinks?:
If my dad wanted to be called D*unit would you call him that?:
Last time you were in a REAL relationship:
Do you want children:
How do you feel about living together before marriage:
CSI or So you think you can dance?:
Favorite Season:
Favorite band/singer:
Karaoke? and regardless what song do or would you do?:
Anything you would like to tell me about yourself:


*If younger than 22 move on and older than 35 move on


Xoxo

**ME**

A Fumble at the ballgame

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I set a second date with the financial analyst... I'm happy about...He's not the marine and really I don't think I am settling okay maybe I am...

I just want to feel that spark again... we will see...

So anyway back to the 2nd date...I decided we would go to a local minor league baseball team. I wanted to see the sports knowledge of this man because I love baseball I mean absolutely love the game... we decide to meet in the parking lot of the store down the street and go to the game together. I'm sooo sweet... that I pay for parking because I never told him about having to have to pay for parking haha myyy bad! We get to the game and get two field tickets. GREAT SEATS! Third baseline and about 7 rows up. Ideal to watch the game and see the butt of the third baseman who is soooo hot!

The game begins and I am enjoying the game and then...he takes out his digital camera...no, no we don't do this...I don't take pictures on the 1st or 2nd date. What's the reason!? To have memories of a date gone wrong? To see how horrible we look together? Well... I guess I could see how good I looked...hmmm I'll remember that.

I order a "cold bear hair" (cold beer here) from a slightly overweight bald man who was out of breath from bending over...WHAT A MAN! The financial anaylst just looked at me like.. are you seriously going to drink a beer. HELL YEA I AM! And if they come around with "hawt dogs" i'll get one of those too! Geez someone needs to loosen up his tie.

In the midst of the beer the opposing team hit a shot to the outfield...and our right fielder dropped it...SERIOUSLY! no wonder we are LAST in all that is minor league baseball. While I am yelling to stick with it Mr. Financial Analyst says....

ugh... he fumbled it

FUMBLED?! Realllyyyy!!! We are at a BASEBALL GAME not a FOOTBALL GAME. I think my blank stare and silent are you kidding me demeanor prompted his... just a test to see if you really understood the game.

LISTEN BUDDY! After ten years of softball and following baseball my ENTIRE life I am sure I KNOW BASEBALL.... is this game over yet....
Leaving the game I check my cellphone...

Good game isn't it --Level 10 Clinger

KILL MY LIFE!!! WHY! I don't answer I can't start this again...but I mean I could probably get a free meal out of it hmmmm evil I know...

The Financial Analyst took me back to my car but he did not hesitate to mention the bars I go to are dive bars...ohhh cause he is so CLASSY and drinks chick drinks cause he can't stand beer. THEN before I get in my car he mentions how I should probably wash it... oh and he would like to see me again. REALLY!? I don't think so... I think this is the last date unless something changes

I need to start new...

New Rules to add

• must know the difference between a fumble and a error
• must enjoy a dive bar
• MUST enjoy a beer

Xoxo
**ME**

Que sera sera

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

It's Easter and my sister is home from college which I am psyched about really! So...I probably should tell her...

I'm addicted to dating sites....

This is what I am waiting for from my perfect always in a relationship little sister...

You're crazy...they must have something wrong with them...they aren't that good looking....what are you thinking?!?

So we go out for the night and as we are ending up the night out at the diner for an after bar breakfest, my cell starts to vibrate. SWEET! I knew exactly who it was regardless of the time... the marine was able to get off base to spend some time with me.

I know it is late, he says, but I would really like to see you tonight. Work has been crazy and I won't be able to see you any other time this weekend.

yes, YES! Is the thought that came to my head. It would be prefect my sister could take me there and just come get me in the morning. Little did I know the tables would have turned...my sister...the one who always says to grow up...make the first move. YOUR TRUE LOVE IS NOT GOING TO FALL INTO YOUR LAP! Hasss to talk to the Marine first...

Nope..NO...no you're not going. He just wants to sleep with you. He called me sweetheart. He does NOT care about you...

...and as my eyes swelled with tears it hits me, in some strange way it is like she doesn't want me to be happy. Because when it comes down to it... I don't care about the 3am calls because I still get calls during the week, the emails, the ims, the text messages.... just once I would like to be the happy one. But...not now...not this time...the marine calls me back and he is baffled and angry and hangs up

He hung up...on me...and when I tried to call him back he there was no answer...

There it goes out the window...

My biggest regret... not going to see him that night. Maybe things would have been different today.

Xoxo
**ME**

An officer and a gentleman

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

He's back! Who you may ask?? The marine of course. Remember it is still only the first weekend of every month. That's all...just one month and just for a few hours. Some would say...

Move on

Date other people

Forget about him

Marines are womanizers

Those few hours and that one day have been the best memories I have had in a while. The marine...he treats me like no one has ever treated me before. He does all the right things at the right time andddd he can last all night. (Without going into details)

He's finally able to get off base and he rented the perfect hotel room for the night. It was not a shitty bang-a-thon hotel, nope not for this lady, it was a Hilton extended stay...with a kitchen, hugeeee extra king sized bed, andddd a huge bath. So I lay around and watch him jam out to the dropkick murphys and talk about getting a new tattoo...

After an amazing night and this time no roommate... I woke up to him dressed in fatigues lacing up his boots. This time I wasn't okay with him just leaving....I needed 5 more minutes...just 5....

Then with a kiss on the forehead and a small speech on how the month will go fast... he was out the door...

I just laid there for the next hour...thinking maybe he would be back... maybe he'd forgotten something....

Like me...

Xoxo
**ME**

Appe-teasers

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

It's March of 08 and boy have I been busy! Between the numerous emails from the good, bad and just plain ugly...the marine...and new dates. I am currently on two free sites now. The funny thing is you still get matched with the same people so it really is not anything new. I basically use one for forums and my distance men and the other for my manventures. Not that one site is better than the other! It just happens to work out that way...
Now don't worry your curious little heads! The marine is alive and well and still very much in the picture. He asked me to come over to his apartment for a few nights, but I was still looking for a job, then I got a job.... However, their weekend passes (when he come here) have been revoked because of some guy who couldn't keep his mouth shut...I offered to sneak in but he said I'd probably be shot. Oh well...I'll politely decline. I'd gladly risk a slap on the wrist to see him but being shot at...I may be flexible but I can't dodge bullets.

I met someone new...he's 28, a financial analyst, tall, dark and handsome. He's interesting to say the least...funny and witty but definitely knows what he wants.
So Mr. Financial Analyst...we met for some appetizers and conversation at a local restaurant. He ordered first...a water with lemon. Okay...I'll have a cherry coke. Then it starts...an integration that would have made OJ Simpsons head spin.

How often do you drink? What did you go to school for? Last date? Why did your last relationship end? What do you do for fun? Drugs? Religion? When was the last time you had sex....

WHOA! Hold on there cowboy! This blog is rated G! (sorry to my avid followers who are just dying to hear about all my hot nights with the marine). Now I love first dates they are as addicting as dating sites but I hate question and answer periods. I like random conversations because in a real relationship it won't be question and answers all day. That first conversation lets you know if that guy can really keep up with me. I think it was the nerves cause we were out for almost four hours....talking, laughing and thinking about a second date....

I'm thinking a second date will happen...and it's my pick!? Spring is coming... Why not baseball?
: ) I'll see how much this guy knows.

Xoxo
**ME**

I wouldn't walk 500 miles...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I have found that soo many guys that I really connect with are untouchable...I mean really! Honest to god untouchable. Everyone is a phone call away unless you have to check your time zones!

I met a wonderful man in the air force...he lives in the STATE of Washington...a college sports director in New Hampshire and a doctor from Ohio. Now when I say met I mean it in a virtual way... who knows they could have all been cross dressing women or people playing mean tricks! It's a shame they live so far away...but at least I made some good friends out of it. Although, if I had the chance to really meet them. I honestly do not have a problem with distance...distance has a problem with me.

Cheers to distance! No matter how far apart we are I know I can always stay true.

I guess I would walk 500 miles...or fly...sail...teleport

Xoxo
ME

Sempri Fi! What a guy!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes, and my future husband,

Mid January of 08 after giving the clinger the cold shoulder I got up the nerve to email a guy you can say I was virtually stalking...not at all in a crazy way (crazy i.e. Mr. Level 10 clinger) I just would check out his new pictures and updated profile. He was intriguing to me...

What was so intriguing?? Well he was a marine, self proclaimed pirate, loves cooking, cook outs, and he was wearing an eagles jersey.

So after a few days of waiting and thinking will he like me? Is he crazy? And more importantly... WILL HE LIKE ME?! I emailed him. Who would have thought that first email to someone you never met or talk to would make your palms sweat and heart race. I am getting flustered just thinking and TYPING about it! phew...okay where was I... I emailed the Marine and I (trying probably wayyy to hard for him to think I was interesting) put the subject line as arrrggghhhh yeah I did that.... I wrote something witty about him being a pirate and if he found any buried treasure lately then I signed it just with my first initial. And I prayed that he would see it, respond, and everything would be amazing.

sooo I waited...

and waited....

and waited....

Then when I least expected it I received an email. He first made it a point to tell me that pirates say yarrrr and he hasn't found any treasure but he thinks he is getting close. He went on to talk about how he lived 45 minutes away but came to the Lehigh Valley one weekend a month and he would be in my area that coming weekend. Now of course I thought back to my rules... I emailed him so that was selective ::check::, I could meet him that weekend ::check::, he admitted to being crazy but who isn't?! he said, and any man who could pull off that uniform I would call a manly man! ::check:: I emailed him again and told him I would love to meet up and gave him my number.

The week couldn't go fast enough and as soon as friday hit I was showered and ready to meet this mystery pirate man. I went out with some of my girl friends first to a local martini bar...checking my cell phone every five minutes to see where he was with the rest of the marines that evening....The evening passed and he text to let me know the guys where all going back to their hotel and I was more than welcome to come along...after the thoughts racing through my mind of what could happen that night I thought it best to not take the offer and go home. I don't regret it at all because the next night was more than I could have imagined.

We met at a hole in the wall bar. I am talking cheap drinks, townies, and the remodeling of bathrooms the kind of bar with the only bathroom left was indoor for the ladies and they had a nice little port-o'-john outside for the men. I waited patiently with my girlfriend trying not to drink too much before he got there then he walked in... 5'10" a gorgeous man in a black dress shirt and dark blue jeans. His sleeves just rolled up slightly to see his tattoos. We hugged, he kissed my forehead and I was sold. He introduced me to his friend marine 2 (equally as attractive)...they told me about their time in Iraq and how they were separated only to find each other in some city. I couldn't take my eyes off him...he held my hand and made me laugh. Not like a ugly double chin laugh but a I can't believe I am sitting here with you...you unbelievable man! He went to the bathroom and I was able to talk to marine 2...He told me he never saw his friend like this before and it would have to take a strong-hearted woman to help him with all the heartache he has gone through in the past few years. I received a text as he was in line and it just said...

hi. don't fall for my friend while I am gone.

The rest of the night we held hands, kissed, and laughed before I went back with him to his hotel room and we laid in bed and talked...and well I will keep this g-rated but we did sleep together. The next morning I watched him change into his little uniform, he kissed my forehead and said we would be seeing each other soon.

I believed him. I wanted to...

I just wanted a fairytale ending to meeting him...and there would be...maybe not this first weekend but another...

Stay tuned! Dates with the Marine did NOT stop here....neither did any of my other manventures!

xoxo
**ME**

Level 10 Clinger

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband...

Now to really understand where I am coming from with all this dating site garbage I need to start from my number one...who and what started it all... My first 'manventure'.

My profile is simple it doesn't reveal too much but it definitely initiates lots of conversation aka emails. At first I set rules...
1) I don't give out my name or number
2) I don't go out with anyone until I am completely ready...
well that didn't last long! But I did add if a guy asks for naked pics he's a loser and if he emails you in some strange text language he is well.... example:

"Hey! How r u? I saw ya on da site n I thnk ur a qt! If I could get 2 know u that would b gr8t! Here is 1 of my pix. Let me now what u thnk"

Translation: LOSER!

All I want is an educated, attractive, emotionally stable and fun guy! Is that too much to ask for??!!

The first guy I ever met up with was a 28 year old sports announcer for ESPN radio and a golf coach. It was mid December when college basketball just started getting exciting and we both shared a common interest in college ball. We had been emailing for two weeks, then it went to im-ing and finally the exchange of numbers and the texts began. Now I am not complaining about the texts at all!! I happen to like texting but he loved it and to show his dedication in our newly formed VIRTUAL friendship he got unlimited texting...for me...which he reminded me frequently. Soon the texts a few times a day turned into all day even if I didn't respond and as soon as I got on my im he was the first to see what I was doing. His profile on the site changed to currently not looking...then it hit me....there is a reason everyone is on dating site, his reason...

LEVEL 10 CLINGER!

I thought maybe if I ignore him he'll go away...I'll lose my phone, change my number, be diagnosed with a incurable very contagious disease...no such luck. Okay so he's into me. This wasn't a game...he took dating sites seriously... very seriously. A week or two after the new year I came home from a job interview and there was a message just for me.

"Coffee, 1pm @ barnes and noble. See ya there- Clinger"

Perfect! I could stand him up and then it would be over! Yeah...I could but unfortunately I am way too nice. So I went...and there he was... thin and maybe 5'3" on a good day with a face only a mother could love (damn people using pictures that probably only look like them after I had 5 or 6 gin and tonics). I thought...I can run or maybe introduce myself to the cute guy by the magazines...no such luck. Mr. "I memorized every picture you have on your site" was already walking over to me. After a pretty much forced conversation, a tall cafe mocha and a free bag of dove chocolates we went our separate ways.

A few days later I received an ecard from him to randomly have a good day...that's nice but then he started calling before bed....just to say goodnight. Then he wanted my address...sorry I don't give that out. Oh! But what did he want it for?? You know the normal....flowers, gifts, to climb up the drain pipe and watch me sleep. Not creepy at all! A day or two after that he changed his facebook status to complicated...because of me.

I stop answering his calls, emails and ims and soon mr. Level 10 clinger faded... I still get angry messages once in awhile cause I am a heart breaker...but I'd rather be that than crazy!

Lesson learned... I decided to:
1) Be more selective
2) Get the date over with sooner
3) Try to somehow test their level of clinginess
4) Find manlier men

I must say if I would have known my dates would be so...interesting I would have started this Blog a long time ago! Thank god I kept a journal!

Stay tuned! I have lots to catch you up on

Xoxo
**ME**

How it all started

December of 2007 my college roommate did our normal 'girls night in' routine... ordered Chinese, bought our own bottles of wine and got ready to watch movies. However, this night was not going to be the same as all the others... this was the last time we would be eating Chinese, drinking wine, and were able to say we were college students. This December I was graduating...heading home...entering the real world. I did not have a job lined up, but I knew I would be going back to the Lehigh Valley to see my old friends, family and live with my parents. I was 23, and didn't have a care in the world... I was a happy independent single woman and not looking to commit to anything but a full-time job.

Then it happened as the wine bottles emptied and the chick flicks started getting to us my roommate, Miss 'I have a great idea'... of course, had a great idea. She was going to sign me up on a dating site whether I liked it or not. She said, "it was a step of getting back into the real world"...I just saw it as desperate. WHO in their right mind would join a site to meet guys they didn't know just to meet them and maybe... possibly start a relationship?! It is just a disaster WAITING to happen.

Well... I did it. I joined. I dated. I fell in love... in lust and into the arms of complete idiots. And I'm so addicted... these are the chronicles of a dating site junkie.