Where are they now?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Similar to a VH1 special of ex TV and movie stars who have seemed to just disappear I began to wonder the same about my ex-manventures and conquests. It has been 6 years since I have been battling the single life and on-line dating...

Here I am..
29 years old and in an on-again off-again relationship with of 4 years with a man that is afraid of commitment, but not afraid of seeing if there is anything better out there. I can't explain anymore why I put myself through it, but as I sit around while he is in Florida I began to wonder what happened to all those other guys... the ones that got away.

Here is an update on those who I could locate. (Thank you facebook for the updates)

 Level 10 clinger: My very first manventure has been happily in a relationship since 2012. No ring on it though!

The Marine: Currently a bartender and possibly still single. But I think that ship has sailed.

The Financial Analyst: This one actually went on a date with a girl I was once friends with... it didn't work out. He is still working the dating site world.

The teacher: ohhhh the teacher... I saw him a few times with things were not working out with the blue-eyed devil. But not more then 2 months ago he took himself off the market and off my facebook friend list. Engaged to the girl he met after me. Oh well.

Grey T-shirt Guy: I honestly wish I had my head on straight for this winner -- said no girl ever -- this loser runs in and around my newly open circle of friends. He is engaged (poor girl) and still as sleazy as ever. Not a loss here!

Mr. Dimples: Him and his creepy cat "Cookie" as still single. The last I heard from him was this New Years Eve. No thanks! BYE!

Cougar (my little cub RAWR): Is now a baby daddy and engaged! DUMB... so much for a back-up plan.

And the others? I have no idea what happened to them; however, they were all good men. If they weren't they would have never ended up on even one date with me.

Now I have a choice. Get back on the dating site train and say good-bye to the blue-eyed devil or I truck on... stick it out... be patient

I may never really be able to give up on him.

XOXO
**ME**

The first heartbreak AKA the night of the wild grapes

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 
(This blog was in draft and has been back-dated and FINALLY published! xoxo **ME**)

I wish I could say this was the most perfect 24hrs... but I would be lying and I would never blog about anything that wasn't true...

We had plans last night... Blue-Eyed Devil and I for the evening. Going to a quarter bingo event (basically each card is a quarter and you play bingo for the night) followed by a local bar and watching a movie and cuddling at the end of the night. The perfect date night. Being together.

What happened set us up for the worst possible scenario... It's hard even now not to cry as I am relaying this to you, because in fact... even in two months I have fallen hard for the Blue-Eyed Devil. I am absolutely in love and I'm not sure what to do right now.

I got to his place late which made us late for bingo and they were sold out of cards. Immediately, he was pissed because I didn't need to put on makeup or change clothes or stop for money. Okay, okay so how about we just go out for a nice dinner and forget about missing BINGO it is only BINGO! But no, no now he wants to go to the horse track... which we do almost every weekend. But first vodka! Of course he decides to get grape vodka... he knows I hate grape vodka (I have just decided this will be forever known as the night of wild grapes)

As the vodka flowed and we started getting emotional and down right wasted. The blue-eyed devil told me that he would ever love he... he could never love me. I brought up having sex earlier that day and that why else would we be where we were at (meeting each-others families and spending almost every waking moment together). I was drunk and he told me to leave... I would never be the one he could or would love and with a heated moment he gave me the finger and told me to fuck off.

I left and called wonder-boy. My old fling and gorgeous young guy. I went over his place and he just let me cry in his arms til I fell asleep. It's a shame we never did work out, but he was the one guy who I was truly able to count on when I needed him.

Today I got the following messages from the blue-eyed devil and I want to hold strong... I mean what else can I do? I need to move on, like I was able to from all the others, yet... I'm not sure I can or want too. It's that electric attraction...

Until next time.

XOXO

**ME**

In summary...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband,

I wish I had something more witty to tell you... some elaborate love story of two kindred spirits that find each other one clear night when every star could be seen in the sky. But... that would just be another fairy tale.

What I want to tell you and what I know happened are two different things. These manventures have been nothing but that... adventures... adventures of finding the wrong men in the right places and the right men at the wrong time. I could continue down the path of who I have fell for...found... and fell in bed with but you could always just watch a daytime soap. Love can't be forced or found that easily... it isn't a guessing game or timing. It is how you feel at that moment when you just know...

As a recap and to bring us all up to current date on manventure... because I have horrible insomnia tonight...

Mr. Strong and Silent...
was more silent then he was strong. Beneath the gorgeous strong exterior was a man who had no idea what was right in front of him. Our conversations were unsatisfying... he had a wall built up and I would not be the one to tear it down. Instead of learning more about each other I learned about his interest in... other people's failing relationship... both in love and friendship. I tried tirelessly to make them out to be deeper conversations then they actually were... Looking back I see what was really going on... sex.

Shallow... hot... lonely sex.

It only ended when after he asked someone else to a special engagement that I knew he would never really know me... we were never and would never really be friends. We would just be two people who from May to October had late night lonely sex... detached from emotion. Now it is March of 2010 and he will still text me late some weekend nights... but I keep it short. I can't fall into my old routine...

I deserve better.

Cougar...
I am not sure what can be done about this one. We have been sleeping together for almost 2 years on and off... he's been there when I needed him... in the physical sense. Some would call it the best of all the manventures I had... this one we both had the understanding of each others needs. But regardless of physical I could also hold conversations with the guy who made me feel like a cougar. He was intelligent and that is what drove me to want him more... he had a thirst for knowledge that was unbelievable for a guy the age of 23 and out of college. Some nights we could stay up for hours exchanging witty banter.
I never had to question where we stood with each other... until the last month. Which will be continued...

Basically... you have it there was only one other guy in the mix before thanksgiving...
The History Teacher...
he taught me if you see the same (bad) qualities in a guy(s) you have dated in the past there will probably be no future. And there was no future. The first date he did everything right... held my hand.. called me beautiful.. bought my dinner... walked the streets of the city gazing at the newly put up Christmas lights. The second date was like two old friends catching up... there was no romance... no intrigue...

That was all... pardon the pun... History... and so was he...

Randomly I was asked out by the 7 year crush who still to this date will never cease to give up and my college ex. The one guy who I let down my wall for... is the one guy who hurt me so bad that the wall is up... not for good but enough that after almost two years I still haven't found someone who really made me crazy happy...

Until recently that is...

XOXO
**ME**

I can't sleep

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband,

When I started this... almost a year ago I thought maybe it would help me to read men better or help other people read them better. But really... men are like those perfect pair of stiletto heels you have been looking for everywhere. They are perfect on the outside size 7.5 red patent leather, pointed toed and adding 4 1/2 inches to your height. But when you put them on the size you normally wear hurts your feet, the heel breaks, and the red wears off not to mention you spent a fortune on them.

What does this mean to me? Well... like shoes you want your man to look perfect in your eyes but also fit into your life. And I am not talking penis size (although that does matter... don't deny it) but even on your worst days when your bloated, feeling a wreck and that noticeable huge zit appears he still finds you to be the most amazing girl in the room.

If your shoe doesn't make you feel amazing don't wear it... if a man doesn't make you feel like a princess don't bring him home. We all deserve the best and deserved to be treated like the best, cared for... adored... and loved. Then why force ourselves to believe a relationship that looks perfect but doesn't feel perfect needs to be reworked and fitted. Like those awesome $80 stilettos, you can't force your foot to grow and you can only fix the heel so many times before it is unfix-able. So why try? Why commit to a pair of shoes that won't commit to you.

For 2 years now the guy who makes me a cougar has been in my life. Two years! And some of my girlfriends say it is the perfect setup two years of non committed great sex with a crazy good looking younger guy. But for me it is about time to figure out if this is ever going to work. It has been amazing non committed sex and he's awesome but I need to think about myself now and what is working for me.

Hopefully sooner than later.

XOXO
**ME**

Cougar rawrrr

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

First and foremost... new look to the Blog! How do you like it?! It may change from time to time til I find on that fits me the most! :)

Here we go back to the juicy stuff

I was at my favorite bar. Drunk. Hot. Thirsty....not looking for anything but the inspiration to sing one more song.

I went up to the bar to take a shot with my best friend and buy myself a pitcher... I'm turning to walk back to my table when I hear my name...

***....you're *** right?

Yeah...

He was standing there in a vintage tee...perfect sideburns and a baseball cap. Out of the movies I know! I was waiting for him to lift up a boom box and blast "Your Eyes". Yet still I had no idea who mystery man was!

He said He met me at a party... well not really met me but I was playing beer pong and flashed him and his teammate repeatedly...

oops! I WOULD!

But... he thought I was dating the guy I was with... yeahhh that would be one downfall to having one of your best friends a guy!

Anywayyy we exchanged numbers to get together...


He was 21 at this point... I was 23 sooo I would not say I am officially a "cougar" but he likes to call me that ;)

rawrrr

Xoxo
**ME**