Hooked

**September 20, 2014**

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

First date with the engineer went... well it went... I was infatuated with his intelligence, drive and the fact that he wasn't too overly New York.  

As fast as the text messaging exchange started it stop. Maybe because I wouldn't sleep with him. Maybe because he talked about his ex during our date. Maybe because it wasn't even a FUCKING DATE.

RANT! I drove almost two hours to a place in New York I have never been and figured I would never see again. There was no dinner. There was no drinks. I sat in a living room while he awkwardly tried to make out with me the entire night. Also he totally smelled like garlic and reminded me of a guy I work with... it just didn't add up to success.

My #marriedbymonday fantasy didn't add up. And that is why I was on hiatus since September. Falling in love and falling in lust. Two different things. I'm over the lust and ready for love... unfortunately there are far too many frogs for me to kiss. 

      Pucker Up! 

XOXO

**ME**

Fall Dates - That won't break the bank

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

As I am anticipating my first meet/date with the Engineer I have the task of suggesting places to go. Now this date is going to be unlike others, considering we will approximately 2 hours apart. But so far he is completely everything I would want in my perspective significant other. Don't worry I have prepared a tell-all article devoted completely to him. 

Everyone boosts about springtime being for lovers, but what about the fall? Fall-- the time for football, warm apple pie, boots, over-sized sweaters and pumpkin everything! But what about those Fall dates?

1) Find a local Festival –

 Locally you can find tons of Fall Harvest Festivals or maybe even an Oktoberfest.  Challenge your date to a pumpkin carving contest or grab a beer and cheer on the contenders of a pie eating contest. In and around Eastern PA you can find more than a dozen fests to attend between the end of September to the middle of November. Many of which are free to the public! Grab your significant other or a group of friends and plan a day or night out of it.

2) Check out a local Brewery/Winery-- for the 21+ crowd – 

Here is a bit of trivia for you – Did you know in Pennsylvania there was a reported 103 craft breweries and 150 wineries! If that doesn't get your taste buds going I don't know what does! Many of which include free tours and tastings. I would suggest using www.brewtrail.com you can create an free account and you are on your way to a day of drinks and fun! Hint:: Have water bottles and snacks available in the car and plan a great restaurant stop. 

3) Local rival college or high school football/soccer game -- 

Are you both from the area and avid sports fans? Nothing can bring some competition into a relationship then checking out an alumni event. Go get a pair of tickets, place some friendly wagers and enjoy the game!

4) Enjoy the Great Outdoors -- 

Maybe you are both of the active type (or like me, want to earn those drinks). Hiking is a great couple or group activity that costs you virtually nothing! Check out www.everytrail.com for some great trail ideas in any state. Most trails and/or state game parks allow picnic lunches in specific areas -- be sure to double check on the website! 

5) Crafts and Carving (or just get creative) -- 

Not in the mood for much driving or big crowds? Get yourselves pumpkins, a carving set and a few Fall craft beers. 

Now Ladies and Gents - Get out there - date - Fall in love, in lust and into the arms of somebody who makes you a better person. 

XOXO 
**ME**

Half Decade of Learning

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I’m in recovery, as some just out of a relationship would say, but I am in fact – in recovery. After a half decade of putting my ever breaking heart on the line I have decided that I have had enough. And the kicker—

He’s moved on. Already. Almost 5 years, half of my 20s and he has already moved on. She’s 18, works at McDonald's and probably has a tight ass and likes to get laid non-stop. Jealous? Maybe a little, but I also think the situation is beyond hilarious.

Blue-eyed devil would promise the world. 

• He says, “I love you, I think it is time I actually try”. 
• He says, “This is exactly what I want”. 
• He says, “I would hate to lose you”. 
• He says, “If you are looking for a future there isn’t one for us”. 
• He says, “I met someone else”.
• He says, “I miss you. Let’s make things right again”.
• Finally he says, “I never said any of that.”

I am beyond words and all I have been able to say recently is “I just can’t” and that seems to be the best way to put it.  

Well my loves (and possible hates), he has been blocked. Deleted, erased from my world all together. I sat with one of my very good friends and coffee date and she watched as I blocked his number, blocked his facebook, and unfollowed his twitter.

And I cried. I cried not because I was sad or hurt or empty. I felt relieved. It was felt like my heart and brain finally connected and I was completely happy. 

For the first time in almost 5 years I was really happy. 

So now I am really back! Back to get out there... ready to read terrible emails, Swipe right to like, screen shot ridiculous men and move on. 

Wish me luck and check back soon for my crazy updates!

XOXO
**ME**

Dealing With His Ex

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

Girl meets guy. Things go great, amazing maybe. Great times hanging out, amazing conversation and equally as amazing sex. She thinks, HOW could any of this go bad? 

Enter Crazy Ex

My recent encounter with said "creature"? Nightmare!

How could it be that bad, you ask? The blue-eyed devil and I woke up at 6 am randomly and he, suddenly being Mr. Romantical, thought breakfast in bed would be a great idea. I, of course, did not fight this idea since it included my two favorite things on a Saturday morning. Breakfast and bed. I mean seriously at that time in the morning what would you rather be doing? 

(If you say "working out" you are a liar and I already hate your skinny ass) 

Blue-eyed devil went out to his car and drove to the diner (I said he was being romantical not a chef...trust me this was a wise decision). In a split second as he pulls around the corner a car screams by his place... 

• by car I mean Crazy Hot Mess Express 
• by scream I mean she literally SCREAMED out her window. 

Yes, his ex, drove to his place at 6 in the morning... sigh... like a nasty little snake stalking a poor unsuspecting mouse and POW! Poor mouse never had a chance. 

What Happens next?

After waiting for him to get back (which felt like hours but was only 20 minutes) I couldn't eat and was visibly upset. 

And when he got back?

I was already packing when he got in and We hashed it out. No screaming but there was tears on both ends. 

What was she doing stalking you? 

         She has been calling me all week. I answered. All she does is scream and cry that I shouldn't be back with you. 

What did she say?

        She was waiting down the street and saw your car. She followed me to the gas station, giant parking lot and then to the apartment complex down the street where she parked next to me and just screamed. By the way, she hates you and you will pay.

What's next?

        Restraining order... maybe we both should get one. 

Seriously? 

Okay, listen up. We, as the searchers of love, should not have to put up with this crap. Now I have had my share of cray cray moments like.... searching his place for the sign of cheating and deleting messages on his cell. BUT I have fessed up and we have moved on from that. 

• Please ex-ladies and gentlemen... Put away your crazy! 

• Future love... SHOW ME THE EX-FAX! I need you to ensure any left-over hot mess expresses will not show up at any point in time and make me question what I am doing with you. 

How do I plan on dealing further?

Pretending that creature doesn't exist and continue to be happy. Trust me it is easier then you think. 

I welcome any and all crazy exes to cross my path. After this monster I doubt I will have trouble with any of you. 

Kisses

XOXO 

*ME*

PS... Blue-eyed devil's deadline is approaching. May 31th shit or get off the pot. Figure it out. In or Out. Either I am in his life or not. But... I am thinking of extending this "deadline"... I can't help it. I love him, I am not his boss. 

Dating Yourself

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Recently, I have found it increasing harder to find quality men for potential manventures on my dating sites. I fear... they have caught on, found my blog and are probably writing one themselves. Most likely they have named it things like -- Douche from Doucheville or The Incredible Shrinking Penis. Or quite possibly I have set my bar WAY to high, to an unachievable level of man that doesn't exist! But then it also struck me... I am not completely happy with where I am in my life so how can I be happy with someone else's mess introduced into mine. 

This is my Hot Mess Express and no, sir, you are not welcome to ride this ride. 

Happiness in the single life vs in the dating life. The key? Don't lose yourself!

It is so easy to be swept up by your new love, significant other, new and old friends, potential in-laws that you forget the most important person. YOU! Whether the case is you are single, dating or married; we all must remember to date ourselves, even if it is once a week. 

I will not lie, I definitely fell of the wagon and lost myself. For the entire winter it seems I stopped doing things I enjoy for the benefit of others happiness. Even the smallest of things like this blog--which I started up again in fuller swing around the new year, to an even bigger thing like the gym... my waist seriously hurts when I say that! 

So what am I doing about this? 

Here are two major things I am doing to "date" me again:

**ME** "dating" the Gym

I am going to back to what made me happy. My awesome pink swarovski bassbuds (purchased on groupon! OBSESSED), bright neon tanks, black yoga pants, 45 mins on the elliptical, 10lb kettlebells and my three very favorite 30 day challenges (Seen Below)! Plus my bonus chocolate mint protein shake after my workouts, yum! I loved using my gym as an outlet for my life stresses. Besides getting hit on by the sweaty old guy with a midlife crisis or the lesbian by the weights is always a perk... or just motivation to not stop!

**ME** Dating my Intelligence

I love my job, don't get me wrong but there are bigger and better things out there for me. So looking into advancing my degree! Fingers crossed!

Reading! I used to go to Starbucks or Panera every Wednesday after work, have a coffee and read for at least 45 minutes. It brought my stress level down and helped the creative juices to flow. So even if it isn't at a coffee shop I need to find time to shut out the world, silent my cellphone and read. PS any reading suggestions are greatly appreciated

Well, I am now going to have a **ME** date with my pillow -- I will leave you with my burning question to you, my fabulous readers.

How do you "Me" Date?

XOXO

**ME**

SO Pinteresting!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I am not sure about anyone else but I am kinda obsessed with Pinterest.com -- seriously I get the most fantastic make-up, hair, clothing styles and nail all within a few minutes. But sadly, for many of you, my personal pinterest wall stays just that personal. Not that I would love to dish out who I am but well... some wounds are fresher then others and there are just some damn crazies out there. 

Back to the Pinteresting Boards I am beginning to create!

Fresh Faced Dating -- Tons of makeup types to great daytime wears to the sexy nighttime wear. Get creative and know yourself. I have come across guys who thought I should wear lipstick or that my eyeliner was too much or they didn't want me to wear any at all. It is your face! Your beautiful blank canvas to do what you want. Not many of us have a make-up artist at home, but we can pretend too!

Dating. -- Includes articles from Cosmo and some interesting infographics on just that... Dating! 

I'd wife him so hard  and She has style and class -- Two celeb boards because well celebs are beautiful and I want to be one and with one soooo yes... James FREAKING Franco mmmm wait what was I saying? Anyway, I would wife the shit out of him. 

For the exes -- Just a fun little hate board dedicated to the assholes in our lives and the poor slutty bitches they ended up with. 

Date-cessories -- Quickly becoming my favorite board! Shoes, purses, jewelry and just pops of color to bring an outfit to life! Just because you are going out to a baseball game doesn't mean you can't dress to impress.  

http://www.pinterest.com/datingsitejunki/

Enjoy!

XOXO

**ME**

Trying to Find Love... While still living at home

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

"You're going to be 30 and you still live at home"

Face it. The majority of us out there are trying to overcome this statement, whether it be personally or towards your intended "other". So what is the young 30-somethings views on this? Until recently I was rocking the living at home with mommy and daddy vibe... until I realized, I live at home AND I am going to be 30. 

Why? 

Most people will ask this question. It was easy and well my parents are pretty cool. College/University, face it, it is not going to get any cheaper and the longer to stay or the farther you advance those loans add up. Unless, you are the lucky few who never had to take out loans in the first place. It is a unpleasant task of seeing hard earned money go back into the hands of these student loan companies ::cough cough Sallie Mae:: but to move on with our lives we need to pay them off... and smile as we do it.  I had to ask myself this: Why am I still living at home when just like some amazing friends I have with loans of their own are out decorating their apartments and making dinners for their own man-ventures/boyfriends/husbands! 

How?

How did a 30-something get this far in the dating world with some serious man-ventures. Easy, I dated men who lived alone. The exception to this rule was the blue-eyed devil and well 4 years later, he has his own place, you see where that has gotten me... 

But again, Why?!

As I said, I love my parents but they can be worse then roommates and yes, even that stinky weird college roommate we all had. Currently, it is the dictating of my life. Where am I going? Who with? When will I be home? How much money are you saving? WE can do your finances...  And the blow of all blows... IF you are going out with Blue-Eyed Devil, you are out! OUT! Actually the quote was "I FORBID YOU to see him". So, my lovely readers I was at a crossroads... I actually drove to Blue-Eyed Devils apartment in tears and told him with a heavy heart I could not see him anymore. Cried for another hour as he tried to calm me down then cried all the way home... great right?

AND THEN I WOKE UP...

It began to set in that it didn't matter

1) If they didn't want me to see him, if I wanted to I would. Again, going to be 30. 

2) I will never get anywhere if I hear constantly bad things about ANY guy I go out with 

and

3) Hey, silly grown girl-child, time to stop bitching and complaining. Get your shit together and move on with your life. There are people living on less. 

Dating and living at home can be done, but we all need to find our own happiness. Not be happy because others are telling us how to feel. 

Followers-- Each and every one of us is on a different journey and we can't expect everyone to understand our own. The Mother of two to understand the 36-year old single and rocking it, or the forever married friend to understand the girl who just cant seem to find the right guy even though she has met all their friends, or the new divorcee to understand the fresh crazy love relationship of another. The wonderful AMAZING friends who have your back but offer solid words of advice even though you keep running back to the retard who can't seem to realize how good he has it (thanks girls--xo hot mess express).

I am giving myself a year to get my shit together. My journey has just begun. 

How will you start yours?

XOXO

**ME**

Question -- What do you look for in a man?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

"What do you look for in a man?"

This seems to be one of the first thing I am always asked when going through the brutal task of online dating site question and answers. 

My answer?  Do you want the cookie cutter version or what I really want to say... I will give you both. 

Cookie cutter

Someguy123: What do you look for in a man?

Desperately_looking (aka ME): I like an intelligent guy. Someone who can teach me things but also likes to learn from me. A nice guy (cough cough) who likes adventure. I like tall, athletic guys with a nice smile and preferably older than I am. But, looks don't matter all that much as long as he makes me laugh.

What I really want to say
Dreamguy16: Hey, what do you look for in a man?

Yourfuturewifey: A strong man. A man who loves his job no matter what that job is... I really want someone who will challenge my intelligence and I can do the same for him. Someone tall... blue eyes and dark hair are a plus! I need someone with a strong sex drive and who wants to experiment and enjoy every inch of our bodies (Yes, I am aware that sounds slutty). A man to enjoy watching sports with, eating terrible food and drinking vodka, but will also work out with me. I want a good man... a man that can look at me in the crazy hours of the morning and tell me I am beautiful. Someone that I can fight with, who can hold his own in an argument and we'd still find our way back into each-others arms.

What I really want to say is that I already have that guy... had that guy and he can't be what I need him to be.

Faithful. Selfless. Committed. 

Sometimes, what you want and what you need have to be two completely different things.

XOXO
**ME**

Back in the online action!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I am REACTIVITED! Plenty of Fish, okCupid and even got a Tinder.... oh good lawd! I am succumb to Tinder! I am okay going back and forth between an Match profile and eHarmony. Any thoughts? Let me know I am all ears and eyes!

Let's see what I came up with... Thank goodness for screenshots! Enjoy!

      

And the following winners "about me" section

I have no words... The search continues!

XOXO

**ME**

Where are they now?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Similar to a VH1 special of ex TV and movie stars who have seemed to just disappear I began to wonder the same about my ex-manventures and conquests. It has been 6 years since I have been battling the single life and on-line dating...

Here I am..
29 years old and in an on-again off-again relationship with of 4 years with a man that is afraid of commitment, but not afraid of seeing if there is anything better out there. I can't explain anymore why I put myself through it, but as I sit around while he is in Florida I began to wonder what happened to all those other guys... the ones that got away.

Here is an update on those who I could locate. (Thank you facebook for the updates)

 Level 10 clinger: My very first manventure has been happily in a relationship since 2012. No ring on it though!

The Marine: Currently a bartender and possibly still single. But I think that ship has sailed.

The Financial Analyst: This one actually went on a date with a girl I was once friends with... it didn't work out. He is still working the dating site world.

The teacher: ohhhh the teacher... I saw him a few times with things were not working out with the blue-eyed devil. But not more then 2 months ago he took himself off the market and off my facebook friend list. Engaged to the girl he met after me. Oh well.

Grey T-shirt Guy: I honestly wish I had my head on straight for this winner -- said no girl ever -- this loser runs in and around my newly open circle of friends. He is engaged (poor girl) and still as sleazy as ever. Not a loss here!

Mr. Dimples: Him and his creepy cat "Cookie" as still single. The last I heard from him was this New Years Eve. No thanks! BYE!

Cougar (my little cub RAWR): Is now a baby daddy and engaged! DUMB... so much for a back-up plan.

And the others? I have no idea what happened to them; however, they were all good men. If they weren't they would have never ended up on even one date with me.

Now I have a choice. Get back on the dating site train and say good-bye to the blue-eyed devil or I truck on... stick it out... be patient

I may never really be able to give up on him.

XOXO
**ME**