Where are they now?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Similar to a VH1 special of ex TV and movie stars who have seemed to just disappear I began to wonder the same about my ex-manventures and conquests. It has been 6 years since I have been battling the single life and on-line dating...

Here I am..
29 years old and in an on-again off-again relationship with of 4 years with a man that is afraid of commitment, but not afraid of seeing if there is anything better out there. I can't explain anymore why I put myself through it, but as I sit around while he is in Florida I began to wonder what happened to all those other guys... the ones that got away.

Here is an update on those who I could locate. (Thank you facebook for the updates)

 Level 10 clinger: My very first manventure has been happily in a relationship since 2012. No ring on it though!

The Marine: Currently a bartender and possibly still single. But I think that ship has sailed.

The Financial Analyst: This one actually went on a date with a girl I was once friends with... it didn't work out. He is still working the dating site world.

The teacher: ohhhh the teacher... I saw him a few times with things were not working out with the blue-eyed devil. But not more then 2 months ago he took himself off the market and off my facebook friend list. Engaged to the girl he met after me. Oh well.

Grey T-shirt Guy: I honestly wish I had my head on straight for this winner -- said no girl ever -- this loser runs in and around my newly open circle of friends. He is engaged (poor girl) and still as sleazy as ever. Not a loss here!

Mr. Dimples: Him and his creepy cat "Cookie" as still single. The last I heard from him was this New Years Eve. No thanks! BYE!

Cougar (my little cub RAWR): Is now a baby daddy and engaged! DUMB... so much for a back-up plan.

And the others? I have no idea what happened to them; however, they were all good men. If they weren't they would have never ended up on even one date with me.

Now I have a choice. Get back on the dating site train and say good-bye to the blue-eyed devil or I truck on... stick it out... be patient

I may never really be able to give up on him.

XOXO
**ME**

Love notes to my future hubby

We see them everyday. Relationship love notes... on Facebook, shown by our coworkers or when we stop over our married/seriously dating friends places.  There are some that just make you want to punch your friend square in the face. No offense to my beautiful friends... but seriously us single gals can only take so much of these cute little nothings.

Here is a compilation of Love Notes that my future boyfriend/hubby will find when he wakes up to go to work, tucked into his work pants or in his awesomely packed lunch.




Dear Future Husband,

You are a crazy hot sex machine that makes my legs shake and my hips hurt, but I know you are probably amazing in other ways too. But seriously, let's do it when you get home.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

I deleted all of my dating site accounts... except for the ones that suggest we may or may not want a threesome. Just saying.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

Please Brush your teeth before morning sex. Oh and while you are up if you could get me water that would be great.

XOXO
ME
_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

I need personal space so if you could just go out with the guys once in awhile that would be fantastic.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

Here's your free pass. Use it wisely. Love the shit out of you.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

Don't forget the vodka.

XOXO
ME
_________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

I love you. I love bacon, but I definitely love you more.

XOXO ME

Get Caught Up!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

The last 4 years has really been a whirlwind of love and heartache. I wish I could have shared all of those moments with you, but I was too caught up in falling in love and having my heart broken by the same person to even blog.

Who is this mystery man who stole, broke and is repairing my heart? He is the one guy you shouldn't be with, seriously. My head tells me to run. RUN FAR! But the heart is something different. He’s self-centered, but caring. An organized mess. Unfaithful, but completely honest. And I couldn't see myself with anyone else. It’s a beautiful disaster.

Why do I do it? Don't I believe I deserve better? I know I deserve better, but I also know he is the one that makes my heart beat and palms sweet. Anyway, the last 4 years was an adventure of working out together, playing tennis... impromptu night trips to New York, multiple professional sports games, casino trips, weekends in Chicago and Philly and the most perfect birthday surprises in the world. Trips and sex do not make a relationship, but I have always felt like my best self around him. Some call it "comfortable", like it is a bad thing. I feel in lust with him fast and in love with him faster. However, my blue-eyed devil is also a self-pleasing man-whore. Our bad times included the work whore, the crazy bitch, Ms. Fed-ex and currently cat-woman. I like to refer to them as the others. And then there was always me... us. I know this all sounds like complete garbage, like I said before, I should run to the hills and not look back. I always look back and there he is with his arms open, stunning blue eyes and the magically words

"I miss you, I made a terrible mistake."

His "others"

1) The work whore - Met him the same time as I did. She thought it took 12 months to have a baby and burnt a oven ready pizza. She thought she was the only one, it was a little comical. I guess I wasn't always a saint forgetting strategically placed earrings and underwear at his place. She didn't last long, but I did.

2) The crazy bitch - I could right an entire entry about this one and I will. For the last two years she has been trying to sneak her drug hazed ass into his life... sometimes succeeding, but mostly failing. I will explain further soon because there is A LOT of issues with her.

3) Fed-Ex - She lasted all but 6 months before the blue-eyed devil realized she was nothing he needed. Leaving packages on his doorstep on days when I was coming over. My favorite was the cupcake she once left. My text to him went something like

"You just received a package on your front door. I hope it is a bomb because I just put it in the trash"

4) Cat woman - Most recently... which sadly has broken my heart. I can only say I see myself in this woman. She has fallen for the blue-eyed devil just as hard as I have and I know she won't last...

The thing is.... what all these women have in common is they do not know about me. This is stupid, I know, but the blue-eyed devil and I are not in a committed relationship and never have been. We love each other, yes... but he is not ready to an exclusive relationship. For most of you this is an outrage! How could I ever be okay with this?! How could my heart not be broken!? The answer is the for both I am not okay and it is always broken. 

Yet, I find myself stuck, because I see myself with no one else and believe me I have tried!! But... I will leave that for my next blog entry.

XOXO
**ME**

Here's to a New Year!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I wish to you all a healthy, happy and beautiful New Year! Let the year guide you in the direction to be the best you with no regrets. 

I do not believe in resolutions... I usually forgot them or are too lazy. Has anyone out there actually truly stuck to what they wanted anyway? And why are so many resolutions so ridiculous?

 I want to find my one true love! (no, no you won't... at least not until you stop being a whore)

Drink less alcohol (because you probably are still hungover from your binge drinking the night before)

I will lose weight (wait... wasn't that your resolution last year?)

Bungee jump (you may want to try getting off the couch first)

Now... What will I do about this whole dating thing? Don't worry I am going to keep the blog going and will be as candid as possible. I am going to do what I want of course... I will no longer let anyone dictate who I should be or who I should be with. I will not be afraid to follow my heart. I will not be stepped on. 

2014 will be adventure and I am ready to begin it.

CHEERS!

XOXO

**ME**

Merry Christmas

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

This Christmas amazing things have been happening. Rekindling the magic of an old love for one... something that may or may not be a good thing. The one thing I know I must do is follow my heart and that is something  not all of you may agree with. 

I have put off trying any online dating sites during the holidays because of the following:

1. Guys are lonely and desperate 
2. My heart isn't in it
3. THE SAME OLD SHIT. 

What is the same old shit? 

The same guys that have contacted me in the past. 

        Just because you have a beard now does not mean I want to ride it. 

Do you have any other pictures?

        I have 10 that are frequently updated. I refuse to send you titty shots so please. Stop. Do us all a favor and stop. 

Have I seen you around before? 

        Uh... maybe? But if you are so interested in me behind a computer screen I highly doubt you will be that interesting in person. Grow balls, be a man and introduce yourself.

Does it get any easier? Am I doomed to be the single friend forever? It comes so fucking easy for everyone else. 

I miss my blue-eyed devil. The fights, the making up... making out, his smile, his intellect, how he challenges me. But round 5 with the same guy? Not sure I have much more patience left. And I know it is wrong, but it feels so right!

Dear Santa,

I want him for Christmas.

Love, 

XOXO

**ME**

 

Insomnia because of him

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Really? Really?!? Can't a girl just move on and not get texts from you at 1:30 in the morning! 

And now my heart is sunk, my hands are shaking and I can't think. But, my dear supportive readers, I will not respond. I must not. I need to move on. Somehow, I must move on. 

XOXO 

**ME**

Mini update

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I'm a completely beautiful mess. A lush. A women who's incomplete life seems to have finally begun to make sense. In this moment, right now, I am happy. 

There is no man behind this feeling. For once... 

But, when is the right time to get back out into the dating world after 4 years was throw out the window? When do I hop back on the dating site train?

If anyone is out there? If anyone is still reading this... help! 

XOXO
**ME**

Food For Thought

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I would like to thank a very amazing friend for finding me this poem. 

XoXo

ME

Boomerang

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I fell in love. 

I fell in love and then my entire world crashed on me. There is no easy way to say what happened, in fact, it was a 4 year long process of giving everything to the one man who would just take and take and take. 

I fell in love and now I hate him with the same amount of passion that I loved him with. 

Why Boomerang? Well, for those of you to know who I really am, would all agree it is the perfect analogy for who I am with him. The most perfect boomerang. His favorite toy. He would toss me... no, throw me far and just like a boomerang I would come back to him. It was always like this, but with blind love I always refused to see it.  

So with a heavy, but open heart I welcome you all back. I can't promise my manventures are going to be half as exciting as they once were, but they will be a new step into the future.


XOXO

ME

Broken

Well my friends... it's June 9, 2011.

I'm single, back home with my parents, broken hearted and listening to Adele.

The past year and a half was a bumpy ride with a man I learned to love through his good and bad. I would never change any of it... I learned to love, work through the bad and I grew into, I think, a wiser person.

I wish he could see how much I put into us... but that doesn't matter now that he found someone new. That tends to happen with me.

I fall in love then fall on my face.

There won't be anyone else like him tho loud mouthed and crazy and bad for me. I'd give anything to have him back but instead I break down a lone in tears. A year and a half doesn't seem long but it took a lot out of me and now I need to learn to move on and try to let him go...

Here I go again... wish me luck...

XOXO
**ME**