Mini update

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I'm a completely beautiful mess. A lush. A women who's incomplete life seems to have finally begun to make sense. In this moment, right now, I am happy. 

There is no man behind this feeling. For once... 

But, when is the right time to get back out into the dating world after 4 years was throw out the window? When do I hop back on the dating site train?

If anyone is out there? If anyone is still reading this... help! 

XOXO
**ME**

Food For Thought

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I would like to thank a very amazing friend for finding me this poem. 

XoXo

ME

Boomerang

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

I fell in love. 

I fell in love and then my entire world crashed on me. There is no easy way to say what happened, in fact, it was a 4 year long process of giving everything to the one man who would just take and take and take. 

I fell in love and now I hate him with the same amount of passion that I loved him with. 

Why Boomerang? Well, for those of you to know who I really am, would all agree it is the perfect analogy for who I am with him. The most perfect boomerang. His favorite toy. He would toss me... no, throw me far and just like a boomerang I would come back to him. It was always like this, but with blind love I always refused to see it.  

So with a heavy, but open heart I welcome you all back. I can't promise my manventures are going to be half as exciting as they once were, but they will be a new step into the future.


XOXO

ME

Broken

Well my friends... it's June 9, 2011.

I'm single, back home with my parents, broken hearted and listening to Adele.

The past year and a half was a bumpy ride with a man I learned to love through his good and bad. I would never change any of it... I learned to love, work through the bad and I grew into, I think, a wiser person.

I wish he could see how much I put into us... but that doesn't matter now that he found someone new. That tends to happen with me.

I fall in love then fall on my face.

There won't be anyone else like him tho loud mouthed and crazy and bad for me. I'd give anything to have him back but instead I break down a lone in tears. A year and a half doesn't seem long but it took a lot out of me and now I need to learn to move on and try to let him go...

Here I go again... wish me luck...

XOXO
**ME**

Here we go again...

After the best year and a half, where I had learned to love and give my all... it was brought to a sudden halt. 

Here I  am again... putting myself out there to the mercy of... Dating Sites...

I wish good things would happen to good people...

XOXO

**ME**

The L Word

A post I worked on from April 6th... a joke right...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 


Well he said it... he said the "L" word. After a year of ups, downs, tears, fights, sleeping with other people. It didn't happen long after he got back from his trip down south... when he look me in the eye and said he loved me. Can it be that after a year and a half we are moving to a new level! :) He has always meant so much to me and yes, yes I love him too.

 Update..
He took it back. I can't even pretend to finish this blog and fabricate what happen. And now I am left in a empty state where somehow this man was able to reach inside me and literally rip out my heart. So now I am walking around... heartless... empty. Some days I don't even know what to feel.


XOXO

**ME**

Inspiration

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband, 


I am currently watching Julie & Julia and strangely enough it made me want to blog. And even tho the movie deals with cooking but also finishing things you started. Every time I meet someone new on my manventures; no matter how it turns out in the end, I learn something about myself. 


So for now I keep trying. dating, searching... but I guess first I need to either follow my head or my heart. 


Here we go again... hmmm 

What dating site should I try next? Ideas?


XOXO
**ME**

Try…try again

November 5, 2010
Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband, 


I've been MIA for awhile… I am aware. I wish I could tell you all I am madly in love and ready to settle down and begin a new chapter of my life, but that would be a lie. The truth is… I have been caught in "love"… or is it lust. Regardless, once again my heart is in the hands of the less deserving and I have let great opportunities slip out of my hands.

Last night a gorgeous and I mean GORGEOUS guy was at the bar. My type? You are about to find out. He was tall but not ow my neck hurts tall but perfectly tall for me (of course to wear heels or flats). He had amazing eyes, brown hair and was wearing a flannel. Oh and he has these sideburns… OH GAWDDDD the sideburns! The man had SEX written all over him. 


Now I am out of practice with this… and by out of practice I mean caught in the clutches of a man who will never love me back (this will all be explained) for the last almost 11 months. Ugh… that just sounds depressing! So back to the bar guy… who I will call John Cusack Jr (YUM)… he appeared to be alone. But, not alone in a sad drowning his sorrows in alcohol kind of way; he was just enjoying the atmosphere. It was almost like he may be new in town. So with a little liquid courage and a push from my best friend I had the bartender buy him his next beer (on me). He smiled a killer smile and I figured I would wait it out a little… see what became of the night. With some more coaxing from my girlfriends I just about mustered up the courage to talk to him when the bartender came over and asked me what I wanted to drink cause my mystery man was buying one for me!  I saw a short time after he was heading to the bathroom and I figured I would be able to run to the bathroom and make it back in time to finally get to talk to John Cusack Jr. But… when I returned I noticed nothing but a half full beer and mystery man was nowhere in sight. 


This was just one of the many chances I had in the past 11 months to find someone who may be just as interested in me, as I was in him. 


Alas, here I am, sitting across from a man who will never really care or love me as much as I do him. And yet, I am content; to some extent at least. 


You can paint your own picture or you can wait for my next blog


XOXO

**ME**


 

I give up, I give in, I let go, let’s begin

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I had started this blog almost two years ago in the hopes that by now I would have found the man of my dreams. Unfortunately that has not happened. Lately when I am home, I watch sad love movies and fall asleep wondering if this is how life will be forever. Of course, I know it will not be.

So let me catch you all up to date... and then some.

XOXO
**ME**

Baseball and a beer

So my friends i am back... baseball and a beer or be it whatever it is. The fact is... i'm sitting at a bar watching the san fran giants game and waiting for my love monkey to stop playing poke.

love monkey? you may ask yourself... it can't be that the infamous serial blogger/internet dater has crossed over to never returning. it's been up and downs.. no doubt more ups than downs. No relationship is perfect and well perfection take the fun out of things.

We met almost 9 months ago. He's big-mouthed, annoying, a drunk, gambler, and smartest man in the whole world. Frankly, i can't see my life without him. He makes me laugh, cry, smile, trust, care and love. He's everything i never wanted and everything i need. The fact is... I regret to say i've lost good friends... well not lost they are still there but a little more distant.

He did break my heart once... a wise girl would run... a silly loyal girl would give him another chance. I can't say he's a prince but he's better than the toads i've been kissing.

Bottom line. He makes me whole...and i think i may love him.

xoxo
ME

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