SO Pinteresting!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I am not sure about anyone else but I am kinda obsessed with Pinterest.com -- seriously I get the most fantastic make-up, hair, clothing styles and nail all within a few minutes. But sadly, for many of you, my personal pinterest wall stays just that personal. Not that I would love to dish out who I am but well... some wounds are fresher then others and there are just some damn crazies out there. 

Back to the Pinteresting Boards I am beginning to create!

Fresh Faced Dating -- Tons of makeup types to great daytime wears to the sexy nighttime wear. Get creative and know yourself. I have come across guys who thought I should wear lipstick or that my eyeliner was too much or they didn't want me to wear any at all. It is your face! Your beautiful blank canvas to do what you want. Not many of us have a make-up artist at home, but we can pretend too!

Dating. -- Includes articles from Cosmo and some interesting infographics on just that... Dating! 

I'd wife him so hard  and She has style and class -- Two celeb boards because well celebs are beautiful and I want to be one and with one soooo yes... James FREAKING Franco mmmm wait what was I saying? Anyway, I would wife the shit out of him. 

For the exes -- Just a fun little hate board dedicated to the assholes in our lives and the poor slutty bitches they ended up with. 

Date-cessories -- Quickly becoming my favorite board! Shoes, purses, jewelry and just pops of color to bring an outfit to life! Just because you are going out to a baseball game doesn't mean you can't dress to impress.  

http://www.pinterest.com/datingsitejunki/

Enjoy!

XOXO

**ME**

Trying to Find Love... While still living at home

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

"You're going to be 30 and you still live at home"

Face it. The majority of us out there are trying to overcome this statement, whether it be personally or towards your intended "other". So what is the young 30-somethings views on this? Until recently I was rocking the living at home with mommy and daddy vibe... until I realized, I live at home AND I am going to be 30. 

Why? 

Most people will ask this question. It was easy and well my parents are pretty cool. College/University, face it, it is not going to get any cheaper and the longer to stay or the farther you advance those loans add up. Unless, you are the lucky few who never had to take out loans in the first place. It is a unpleasant task of seeing hard earned money go back into the hands of these student loan companies ::cough cough Sallie Mae:: but to move on with our lives we need to pay them off... and smile as we do it.  I had to ask myself this: Why am I still living at home when just like some amazing friends I have with loans of their own are out decorating their apartments and making dinners for their own man-ventures/boyfriends/husbands! 

How?

How did a 30-something get this far in the dating world with some serious man-ventures. Easy, I dated men who lived alone. The exception to this rule was the blue-eyed devil and well 4 years later, he has his own place, you see where that has gotten me... 

But again, Why?!

As I said, I love my parents but they can be worse then roommates and yes, even that stinky weird college roommate we all had. Currently, it is the dictating of my life. Where am I going? Who with? When will I be home? How much money are you saving? WE can do your finances...  And the blow of all blows... IF you are going out with Blue-Eyed Devil, you are out! OUT! Actually the quote was "I FORBID YOU to see him". So, my lovely readers I was at a crossroads... I actually drove to Blue-Eyed Devils apartment in tears and told him with a heavy heart I could not see him anymore. Cried for another hour as he tried to calm me down then cried all the way home... great right?

AND THEN I WOKE UP...

It began to set in that it didn't matter

1) If they didn't want me to see him, if I wanted to I would. Again, going to be 30. 

2) I will never get anywhere if I hear constantly bad things about ANY guy I go out with 

and

3) Hey, silly grown girl-child, time to stop bitching and complaining. Get your shit together and move on with your life. There are people living on less. 

Dating and living at home can be done, but we all need to find our own happiness. Not be happy because others are telling us how to feel. 

Followers-- Each and every one of us is on a different journey and we can't expect everyone to understand our own. The Mother of two to understand the 36-year old single and rocking it, or the forever married friend to understand the girl who just cant seem to find the right guy even though she has met all their friends, or the new divorcee to understand the fresh crazy love relationship of another. The wonderful AMAZING friends who have your back but offer solid words of advice even though you keep running back to the retard who can't seem to realize how good he has it (thanks girls--xo hot mess express).

I am giving myself a year to get my shit together. My journey has just begun. 

How will you start yours?

XOXO

**ME**

Question -- What do you look for in a man?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

"What do you look for in a man?"

This seems to be one of the first thing I am always asked when going through the brutal task of online dating site question and answers. 

My answer?  Do you want the cookie cutter version or what I really want to say... I will give you both. 

Cookie cutter

Someguy123: What do you look for in a man?

Desperately_looking (aka ME): I like an intelligent guy. Someone who can teach me things but also likes to learn from me. A nice guy (cough cough) who likes adventure. I like tall, athletic guys with a nice smile and preferably older than I am. But, looks don't matter all that much as long as he makes me laugh.

What I really want to say
Dreamguy16: Hey, what do you look for in a man?

Yourfuturewifey: A strong man. A man who loves his job no matter what that job is... I really want someone who will challenge my intelligence and I can do the same for him. Someone tall... blue eyes and dark hair are a plus! I need someone with a strong sex drive and who wants to experiment and enjoy every inch of our bodies (Yes, I am aware that sounds slutty). A man to enjoy watching sports with, eating terrible food and drinking vodka, but will also work out with me. I want a good man... a man that can look at me in the crazy hours of the morning and tell me I am beautiful. Someone that I can fight with, who can hold his own in an argument and we'd still find our way back into each-others arms.

What I really want to say is that I already have that guy... had that guy and he can't be what I need him to be.

Faithful. Selfless. Committed. 

Sometimes, what you want and what you need have to be two completely different things.

XOXO
**ME**

Back in the online action!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I am REACTIVITED! Plenty of Fish, okCupid and even got a Tinder.... oh good lawd! I am succumb to Tinder! I am okay going back and forth between an Match profile and eHarmony. Any thoughts? Let me know I am all ears and eyes!

Let's see what I came up with... Thank goodness for screenshots! Enjoy!

      

And the following winners "about me" section

I have no words... The search continues!

XOXO

**ME**

Where are they now?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Similar to a VH1 special of ex TV and movie stars who have seemed to just disappear I began to wonder the same about my ex-manventures and conquests. It has been 6 years since I have been battling the single life and on-line dating...

Here I am..
29 years old and in an on-again off-again relationship with of 4 years with a man that is afraid of commitment, but not afraid of seeing if there is anything better out there. I can't explain anymore why I put myself through it, but as I sit around while he is in Florida I began to wonder what happened to all those other guys... the ones that got away.

Here is an update on those who I could locate. (Thank you facebook for the updates)

 Level 10 clinger: My very first manventure has been happily in a relationship since 2012. No ring on it though!

The Marine: Currently a bartender and possibly still single. But I think that ship has sailed.

The Financial Analyst: This one actually went on a date with a girl I was once friends with... it didn't work out. He is still working the dating site world.

The teacher: ohhhh the teacher... I saw him a few times with things were not working out with the blue-eyed devil. But not more then 2 months ago he took himself off the market and off my facebook friend list. Engaged to the girl he met after me. Oh well.

Grey T-shirt Guy: I honestly wish I had my head on straight for this winner -- said no girl ever -- this loser runs in and around my newly open circle of friends. He is engaged (poor girl) and still as sleazy as ever. Not a loss here!

Mr. Dimples: Him and his creepy cat "Cookie" as still single. The last I heard from him was this New Years Eve. No thanks! BYE!

Cougar (my little cub RAWR): Is now a baby daddy and engaged! DUMB... so much for a back-up plan.

And the others? I have no idea what happened to them; however, they were all good men. If they weren't they would have never ended up on even one date with me.

Now I have a choice. Get back on the dating site train and say good-bye to the blue-eyed devil or I truck on... stick it out... be patient

I may never really be able to give up on him.

XOXO
**ME**

Love notes to my future hubby

We see them everyday. Relationship love notes... on Facebook, shown by our coworkers or when we stop over our married/seriously dating friends places.  There are some that just make you want to punch your friend square in the face. No offense to my beautiful friends... but seriously us single gals can only take so much of these cute little nothings.

Here is a compilation of Love Notes that my future boyfriend/hubby will find when he wakes up to go to work, tucked into his work pants or in his awesomely packed lunch.




Dear Future Husband,

You are a crazy hot sex machine that makes my legs shake and my hips hurt, but I know you are probably amazing in other ways too. But seriously, let's do it when you get home.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

I deleted all of my dating site accounts... except for the ones that suggest we may or may not want a threesome. Just saying.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

Please Brush your teeth before morning sex. Oh and while you are up if you could get me water that would be great.

XOXO
ME
_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

I need personal space so if you could just go out with the guys once in awhile that would be fantastic.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

Here's your free pass. Use it wisely. Love the shit out of you.

XOXO
ME
________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

Don't forget the vodka.

XOXO
ME
_________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Future Husband,

I love you. I love bacon, but I definitely love you more.

XOXO ME

Get Caught Up!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

The last 4 years has really been a whirlwind of love and heartache. I wish I could have shared all of those moments with you, but I was too caught up in falling in love and having my heart broken by the same person to even blog.

Who is this mystery man who stole, broke and is repairing my heart? He is the one guy you shouldn't be with, seriously. My head tells me to run. RUN FAR! But the heart is something different. He’s self-centered, but caring. An organized mess. Unfaithful, but completely honest. And I couldn't see myself with anyone else. It’s a beautiful disaster.

Why do I do it? Don't I believe I deserve better? I know I deserve better, but I also know he is the one that makes my heart beat and palms sweet. Anyway, the last 4 years was an adventure of working out together, playing tennis... impromptu night trips to New York, multiple professional sports games, casino trips, weekends in Chicago and Philly and the most perfect birthday surprises in the world. Trips and sex do not make a relationship, but I have always felt like my best self around him. Some call it "comfortable", like it is a bad thing. I feel in lust with him fast and in love with him faster. However, my blue-eyed devil is also a self-pleasing man-whore. Our bad times included the work whore, the crazy bitch, Ms. Fed-ex and currently cat-woman. I like to refer to them as the others. And then there was always me... us. I know this all sounds like complete garbage, like I said before, I should run to the hills and not look back. I always look back and there he is with his arms open, stunning blue eyes and the magically words

"I miss you, I made a terrible mistake."

His "others"

1) The work whore - Met him the same time as I did. She thought it took 12 months to have a baby and burnt a oven ready pizza. She thought she was the only one, it was a little comical. I guess I wasn't always a saint forgetting strategically placed earrings and underwear at his place. She didn't last long, but I did.

2) The crazy bitch - I could right an entire entry about this one and I will. For the last two years she has been trying to sneak her drug hazed ass into his life... sometimes succeeding, but mostly failing. I will explain further soon because there is A LOT of issues with her.

3) Fed-Ex - She lasted all but 6 months before the blue-eyed devil realized she was nothing he needed. Leaving packages on his doorstep on days when I was coming over. My favorite was the cupcake she once left. My text to him went something like

"You just received a package on your front door. I hope it is a bomb because I just put it in the trash"

4) Cat woman - Most recently... which sadly has broken my heart. I can only say I see myself in this woman. She has fallen for the blue-eyed devil just as hard as I have and I know she won't last...

The thing is.... what all these women have in common is they do not know about me. This is stupid, I know, but the blue-eyed devil and I are not in a committed relationship and never have been. We love each other, yes... but he is not ready to an exclusive relationship. For most of you this is an outrage! How could I ever be okay with this?! How could my heart not be broken!? The answer is the for both I am not okay and it is always broken. 

Yet, I find myself stuck, because I see myself with no one else and believe me I have tried!! But... I will leave that for my next blog entry.

XOXO
**ME**

Here's to a New Year!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I wish to you all a healthy, happy and beautiful New Year! Let the year guide you in the direction to be the best you with no regrets. 

I do not believe in resolutions... I usually forgot them or are too lazy. Has anyone out there actually truly stuck to what they wanted anyway? And why are so many resolutions so ridiculous?

 I want to find my one true love! (no, no you won't... at least not until you stop being a whore)

Drink less alcohol (because you probably are still hungover from your binge drinking the night before)

I will lose weight (wait... wasn't that your resolution last year?)

Bungee jump (you may want to try getting off the couch first)

Now... What will I do about this whole dating thing? Don't worry I am going to keep the blog going and will be as candid as possible. I am going to do what I want of course... I will no longer let anyone dictate who I should be or who I should be with. I will not be afraid to follow my heart. I will not be stepped on. 

2014 will be adventure and I am ready to begin it.

CHEERS!

XOXO

**ME**

Merry Christmas

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband, 

This Christmas amazing things have been happening. Rekindling the magic of an old love for one... something that may or may not be a good thing. The one thing I know I must do is follow my heart and that is something  not all of you may agree with. 

I have put off trying any online dating sites during the holidays because of the following:

1. Guys are lonely and desperate 
2. My heart isn't in it
3. THE SAME OLD SHIT. 

What is the same old shit? 

The same guys that have contacted me in the past. 

        Just because you have a beard now does not mean I want to ride it. 

Do you have any other pictures?

        I have 10 that are frequently updated. I refuse to send you titty shots so please. Stop. Do us all a favor and stop. 

Have I seen you around before? 

        Uh... maybe? But if you are so interested in me behind a computer screen I highly doubt you will be that interesting in person. Grow balls, be a man and introduce yourself.

Does it get any easier? Am I doomed to be the single friend forever? It comes so fucking easy for everyone else. 

I miss my blue-eyed devil. The fights, the making up... making out, his smile, his intellect, how he challenges me. But round 5 with the same guy? Not sure I have much more patience left. And I know it is wrong, but it feels so right!

Dear Santa,

I want him for Christmas.

Love, 

XOXO

**ME**

 

Insomnia because of him

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Really? Really?!? Can't a girl just move on and not get texts from you at 1:30 in the morning! 

And now my heart is sunk, my hands are shaking and I can't think. But, my dear supportive readers, I will not respond. I must not. I need to move on. Somehow, I must move on. 

XOXO 

**ME**