In summary...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband,

I wish I had something more witty to tell you... some elaborate love story of two kindred spirits that find each other one clear night when every star could be seen in the sky. But... that would just be another fairy tale.

What I want to tell you and what I know happened are two different things. These manventures have been nothing but that... adventures... adventures of finding the wrong men in the right places and the right men at the wrong time. I could continue down the path of who I have fell for...found... and fell in bed with but you could always just watch a daytime soap. Love can't be forced or found that easily... it isn't a guessing game or timing. It is how you feel at that moment when you just know...

As a recap and to bring us all up to current date on manventure... because I have horrible insomnia tonight...

Mr. Strong and Silent...
was more silent then he was strong. Beneath the gorgeous strong exterior was a man who had no idea what was right in front of him. Our conversations were unsatisfying... he had a wall built up and I would not be the one to tear it down. Instead of learning more about each other I learned about his interest in... other people's failing relationship... both in love and friendship. I tried tirelessly to make them out to be deeper conversations then they actually were... Looking back I see what was really going on... sex.

Shallow... hot... lonely sex.

It only ended when after he asked someone else to a special engagement that I knew he would never really know me... we were never and would never really be friends. We would just be two people who from May to October had late night lonely sex... detached from emotion. Now it is March of 2010 and he will still text me late some weekend nights... but I keep it short. I can't fall into my old routine...

I deserve better.

Cougar...
I am not sure what can be done about this one. We have been sleeping together for almost 2 years on and off... he's been there when I needed him... in the physical sense. Some would call it the best of all the manventures I had... this one we both had the understanding of each others needs. But regardless of physical I could also hold conversations with the guy who made me feel like a cougar. He was intelligent and that is what drove me to want him more... he had a thirst for knowledge that was unbelievable for a guy the age of 23 and out of college. Some nights we could stay up for hours exchanging witty banter.
I never had to question where we stood with each other... until the last month. Which will be continued...

Basically... you have it there was only one other guy in the mix before thanksgiving...
The History Teacher...
he taught me if you see the same (bad) qualities in a guy(s) you have dated in the past there will probably be no future. And there was no future. The first date he did everything right... held my hand.. called me beautiful.. bought my dinner... walked the streets of the city gazing at the newly put up Christmas lights. The second date was like two old friends catching up... there was no romance... no intrigue...

That was all... pardon the pun... History... and so was he...

Randomly I was asked out by the 7 year crush who still to this date will never cease to give up and my college ex. The one guy who I let down my wall for... is the one guy who hurt me so bad that the wall is up... not for good but enough that after almost two years I still haven't found someone who really made me crazy happy...

Until recently that is...

XOXO
**ME**

Matchmaker matchmaker

6/20-21/09




Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,


It was a long weekend of going to various high school grad parties for two different cousins. One having to travel about two hours and then coming back to the valley for the second party.



While back in the LV with the most amazing family I know my cousin and I decided the best way to end the night would be for us to go out to our local hot spot and meet up with some friends... including Mr. Strong and silent. ::heart flutter:: Let me lay this out for you as I saw him before I knew him (if you didn't read the other update about him)...


What I saw was an incredibly good-looking, tall, blonde, blue-eyed man in his late 20's... He was always looking very clean-cut and presentable.. like the guy one would love to take home to mom and dad. He didn't smile often but when he did I felt the need to smile back. He was always quiet...stood in the background... his presence wasn't known but I always knew when he was there. He seemed like someone I could feel safe around, possibly someone who would never hurt me... but that is only the possibilities. The reality is I thought Mr. Strong and Silent was one guy I would be noticing from a far for a long time.

Sitting down with my Cherry Vodka and Cokes, talking to my amazing cousin about everything and anything. It's hard to say what really happened that night. Whether we all drank too much or cupid had really good aim but Mr. Strong and Silent asked if I would go to a party with him and another one of our friends.
The party itself took me to another place... Mr. Strong and Silent's house... with the help of a mutual friend. We sat around and talked about work, school, our friends and their relatioships, how my brother was thinking about going into the airforce and him getting lost in conversation about the Marines. He teased me about how long it was taking me to finish my beer and once again I made fun of his "stern" face and he gave me that smile I can still see...
It felt like seconds before he leaned down and kissed me. It wasn't overbearing but for that second it felt perfect... I work up the next day laying in his bed. At first I honestly thought I was dreaming... for almost 2 years I did nothing but honestly think I would never be where I was at that moment...
He drove me home and it wasn't quiet but it also wasn't a talk fest. We were two people that before that night noticed one another across a dark, loud, and smokey bar. Now all I could think about was do I let my true feelings show or wait to see what happens...
All you can do my friends is wait... just like I had too
XOXO
**ME**

In the midnight hour...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

There is always one... whether it is at a bar, a party, or at the gym... a guy that draws in all your attention and makes you wonder what is behind that tough exterior.

Mr. Strong and silent was very much like that. He stands in the back of the karaoke room with a mutual friend a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He's tall and handsome with a strong look on his face. Emotion is probably something he does not show for the most part. He doesn't sing along to the songs or hit on the random bar hookers looking for a good lay. We have been running in the same circle (thanks to my cousin) for the past two or three years... orrr as long as I have been noticing him at the bar.

I blush when I get close to him... my palms sweat, my minds races and I usually end up saying something ridiculous or I just don't speak to him at all. But there is a rare opportunity was Mr. strong and silent smiles and it makes me want to smile back or at least find out why he is smiling. I have seen him with his fair share of random girlfriends or friendly girls... I am not sure which at times.

The one time I did talk to him I found out he was on a dating site I was on as well. He said he was giving up on it because the women he meets were not interested in a relationship as much as they were interested that he was a marine.

Yes, he is a marine... we allll know how I feel about this. Mmmm mmm good.

I already know what may or may not happen with Mr. Strong and silent but you will just have to look for more updates :)

XOXO
**ME**