In the midnight hour...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

There is always one... whether it is at a bar, a party, or at the gym... a guy that draws in all your attention and makes you wonder what is behind that tough exterior.

Mr. Strong and silent was very much like that. He stands in the back of the karaoke room with a mutual friend a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He's tall and handsome with a strong look on his face. Emotion is probably something he does not show for the most part. He doesn't sing along to the songs or hit on the random bar hookers looking for a good lay. We have been running in the same circle (thanks to my cousin) for the past two or three years... orrr as long as I have been noticing him at the bar.

I blush when I get close to him... my palms sweat, my minds races and I usually end up saying something ridiculous or I just don't speak to him at all. But there is a rare opportunity was Mr. strong and silent smiles and it makes me want to smile back or at least find out why he is smiling. I have seen him with his fair share of random girlfriends or friendly girls... I am not sure which at times.

The one time I did talk to him I found out he was on a dating site I was on as well. He said he was giving up on it because the women he meets were not interested in a relationship as much as they were interested that he was a marine.

Yes, he is a marine... we allll know how I feel about this. Mmmm mmm good.

I already know what may or may not happen with Mr. Strong and silent but you will just have to look for more updates :)

XOXO
**ME**

He shoots... He misses

(March 5, 2009)

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

There comes a time...even when you think you find the perfect person when you step back and see everything they do that just doesn't fit the mold of "perfect". The Semi-pro was just that... the weather was still awful and his traveling wasn't getting any closer to coming to an end and we were not getting any closing to defining what "we" were becoming. Then out of the complete blue I get a call from him...

"I've been thinking about us and we should probably start dating"

My reply...
"We've hung out... what? once? I don't think that is grounds for a relationship and besides maybe you should make the effort to see me once in a while..."

his response...
"come up and see me tomorrow I will make dinner"

My response
"I'd love too"

Who am I?! Or in past tense who was I?! That naive to his game that I forgot were my head was...

I went... ate, drank, and as we were laying in bed the worst comment (if it even is a comment) I would ever want to hear...
I wish you were my girlfriend every night
Then I remembered the game and how much the game sucks. I was never to be anyone's night time girlfriend booty call (unless of course that was what we mutually decided on. Hey a girl has got to have game too...more on this later)

I left in tears... not because we weren't going to date but because I felt like I wasted yet another day on a guy who wasn't worth it. Friends save your "I told you so's" because yes... yes you did.

When I got home I deleted him from my cell, my buddylist, my facebook and myspace... yes my entire virtual world. This is the last time you will hear about me being with the semi-pro.

But honestly I am a hands on learner... so I will keep on learning :)

Xoxo
**ME**

At least the coffee was good...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

First off I have been slacking... I know! Not sure what it was loss of creative energy... a re-evaluation of who I have been choosing to date... but whatever it was or may still be I am back in full force catching you up and throwing in some new twists... what are those? hmm you will just have to wait and find out.

Bear with me I am finally coming to the end of February of 09... (I know this has been a journey) my last date of the month and well... it was quite an experience... It has been a long month of disappointments but there were some shining stars that came out of it. However, Mr. Coffee didn't really make the cut.

We met at a local book store for coffee and what I thought would be worthwhile conversation was... well just a regular cup of coffee. Mr. Coffee and I have been talking off and on for the past month I was never really terribly interested in him... there was no mystery, he wasn't a "bad boy", there was nothing I thought I needed to fix. He definitely wasn't perfect he was just there and well his interest in me was enough to keep my interest.

Of course being my classy self I showered, took time on my hair and makeup and wore a cute outfit... Mr. Coffee... well i will describe his outfit as... horrible it was like the guy was planning on the date being an entire disaster. I tried looking past the the fact his idea of coffee attire was a stained hoodie with what was either wood chips or ugh dandruff on the back, dirty jeans and horrible sneakers with mud on them. Honestly, I am not one to look at an outfit first but if it was at least clean I wouldn't have cared. At least I knew what I may be getting myself into...

Rule: Be yourself... if you always dress like a homeless person do it. Then I at least know I should start running... far

We went up to get coffee... I bought my own...

His teeth were so bad. His conversation was non existent.

But my raspberry mocha was really good and I bought some great new reads.

NEXT!

Xoxo
**ME**

Oy Vey! I'm back again...

I have recently been... again... on hiatus. Forgive me?? PLEASE! I have lots to update and even more to continue to tell you about. I can't believe that it is July already... this July it's been slow... not in the slow manventure way but in the I was crazy sick for about three weeks.


XOXO
**ME**

A childhood relapse...

I love being one of the youngest employees at work. The insights of all the women here is so amazing and to see their struggles and how much they accomplished of themselves and with their children is mind blowing. Now some of them in their 40s and 50s refuse to do any dating and prefer to have one male friend (with benefits of course) and it made me think how did I become this twenty-something amazing women who is so set on finding the love of my life no matter how many frogs I have to make out with... cause seriously we all can read I just don't 'kiss'.

I remember...
standing on stage in preschool and announcing I was going to be a nurse... not exactly what I do today but pretty damn close.

standing on the 'wall' in 1st grade because this boy kissed me on the cheek on valentine's day and I hit him in the face and made him cry...

having my first 'boyfriend' in fifth grade after he used my Lisa Frank paper to ask me to the 5th grade dance...then breaking up at the dance only to start 'dating' his friend...

and another

and another...

dating a guy in 7th grade just to be able to date one of his friends... then finding out that the new guy re gifted a necklace he gave me.. so I cut it up at lunch and threw it at him

my first kiss and getting in trouble at 8th grade dances...

falling in 'love' for the first time in 9th grade with a guy some people would say takes a special person to stand...

Watching Before Sunrise, 16 Candles, Say Anything and When Harry Met Sally over and over again wishing every teenage boy was John Cusack

getting my heartbroken in cars...
having my trust broken in cars...

dating my best friend and never talking to him again...

going through crush after crush... hook up after hook up...

falling in love in college and finding out the guy I gave up everything too was cheating on me the whole time...

being in denial about falling for my best friend and putting a huge hole in the friendship...

which brings me up to today...
hoping, waiting... wishing the next time the phone rings...the text message sounds...the next email I receive I'll be done looking

so future husband if you are reading this... I am not dating for this blog I am dating to find you

I won't give up and I won't be in my 40s with a friend with benefits

Xoxo
**ME**

A second run-in...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband,

The Dimples... I am addicted to them and to him. A good addiction though.. one that makes me want to really get to know him. And that is like a breakthrough for me when it comes to guys I meet at bars.

I'm sipping on a simply wonderful mixed drink I lovingly call a Woo-Woo cause when you drink one to many... you feel like WOO WOOOOO. Anywayyy one of my besties and I are picking out some great music to play for the night when dimples walks in with... well a lesser attractive man we will call the pimp (as in pimple but i am trying to be kinda nice here). Anyways... I casually make my way over to say hello. He sees me with his dimples and that smile and I could go on but I won't...

As the night goes on he is looking for music to play and I go over and try to be cute by making fun of his selections... well it happens he has great taste (if it was still the early 90s) and he ends up making fun of me... forever thinking my favorite song is "Like a Virgin" by Madonna. We all know that is far from the truth...

anyway after throwing down a few drinks (literalllyyyy haha just kidding) with my girlie we decided to go over to another bar to see our friends. As I am leaving Mr. Dimples says he would really like if I would stay and watch him play pool... I say I would really like it if he came with.... it was like a test to see who was in control...

he was... he stayed...

So I am at the next bar a little upset... thinking maybe i should go back over and watch him play pool and we could come back here and.... stupid girl this is not a fairy tale. If he wants me to watch him play pool then he will come and get me I refuse to be someones puppy dog.

He came... to see me! Greeting each other with a kiss and talking... and watching his dimples and eyes they seemed to smile with his smile. they are dark and full of mystery and passion. We exchanged numbers and he kissed me goodnight...

what will become of dimples... and can they be trusted?

Xoxo
**ME**

movie dates...are awkward...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

After the mess of dates I had been on in the past month or so I decided to give the teacher another go around.

Movie dates... who ever thought they would be a good idea? Most of the time I end up just making out or hooking up with the guy anyway... unless in the theater. Come on people! I am bad but not that bad.

I could tell it was going to be awkward from the beginning...

What we talked about and I was expecting...
His house he was going to make dinner...wine...dine...watch a movie get our cuddle onnn ow owww

What happened...

Awkward hug hello... he had to pick up the pizza... fridge filled of Smirnoff ice and beer... no tv? That's right not one tv... instead... which I should have known was going to appear since he is a tech teacher... a projector that hooked into his cable box and lit up his entire wall. It was fascinating... the biggest big screen tv I ever saw....

So I asked for water (but I probably should have drank) and sat down on the couch with some pizza... he... sat down the couch from me. Which totally makes it completely awkward!

I can't stand when people do that.. I automatically start thinking do I smell? Maybe I eat funny... or chew too loud.. or slurp when I drink... Maybe he isn't interested anymore... or maybe he is just that awkward...

As the night progressed so did his movements towards me and my interest was dimming... was the movie over yet? I mean at least it was with Sammy L who is a brilliant actor...

More pizza...more water...

As the movie comes to an end he has another one... great another movie... he says think about it and goes to the bathroom... I think can I get my shoes on before he gets out of the bathroom? He comes out as I am putting them on...

guess that is for the night then?

Yea.. I am really tired but the pizza and movie were great. Thanks so much for having me over.

(notice I didn't say I had a wonderful time with you... or your great... or let's go to Vegas and get married)

And with that I went into the bathroom. Almost wishing I would have just left... I didn't have to pee that bad.. well okay I did but this awkwardness of the date was more on my mind then how I shouldn't have drank all that water (but I probably should have taken the beer).

I walked out the the bathroom and we talked a little before I left. He reminded me which way to go to get out of this neighborhood and then... then he reached into his pocket and pulled our a breathe freshener... A BREATHE FRESHENER! Like a seriously spray mouth freshener... even if he didn't have garlic it wouldn't have matter there would be no late night hook up. He walked to the door and I gave him a head turned hug that screamed you will not be kissing me tonight buddy...thanked him for everything and said it was good seeing him.

He said we should get together again sometime.

I responded with just give me a call...

I wanted to scream when I got in my car... not in the heartbroken tears running down my face scream but a relief that is it over this is going to be a blog worthy movie date experience...

that makes me wondering... am I dating this strange men to blog or am I blogging to find the right guy? I am going to have to go with the second one... however if I find the right guy what will I blog about?!

Alright I should get back to work now.

Xoxo

**ME**

Valentine's Day Massacre

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

February... a month that is for lovers, chocolate, roses, exciting dates, and happiness...

Enter my February... a month of disappointments so bare with me and I'll get this ball rolling!

At this time I was still talking to the divorced guy, Mr. Semi pro, the teachers, and trying to find ways to just 'run into' Mr. Dimples. The 34 year old is having an early mid life crisis... apparently me looking for someone to have an actual relationship with does not coincide with his looking for a fun hook-up. surprise...SURPRISE! Oh well... the other fine gentlemen as supposed to have dates this month.

Beginning of the month I went on a second date with the divorced guy... well guess it was more of a first hook-up. After meeting some friends for dinner at a new sports bar I gathered myself together and drove to his house.

*note to self... open toed shoes are sexy but not on icy nights*

Not much more then watching a movie... a tour of his house that ended in his bedroom and then his damn dog ran around the room with my bar. Seriously?! Future exes DO NOT HOOK UP with your dog still in the room... seriously! CREEPIEST experience ever! No one likes a cold nose, hot dog breathe and their bra being played with like a chew toy... I won't even start talking about the dog! ;)
I knew this was
1) the worst "date" ever
2) I probably wouldn't see the divorced guy again... even if he wanted to see me
Now the embarrassing part... because this is a tell all blog of course...
We were laying in his bed talking... and... I farted... HA! Seriously... I am so serious.. so he called me quacks and I ended the night. He still called me to let me know he had a great night. HA... ugh ladies nothing ends a bad date like a good fart... because everyone knows farts are funny!
But seriously... I am a classy lady.

Thennn there was valentines day... I spent it going to the bar with my best guy friend... awesome... some girls get flowers I took a few shots sang you oughta know and passed out in my own bed by myself...

Usually I am not that sad about the day. You know just another day... but then I thought about the surgical nurse who's birthday happen to be on valentines day. I missed him and it is had been hard for me to move on when my heart wouldn't let me. Funny how the nicest guy I had met so far also happen to make me cry the hardest as well...

The semi pro and I tried to see each other buttt the weather had other ideas... and I am not dragging my butt an hour to see someone who won't drive down to see me. So this could be it for the semi-pro... this can't be a one sided venture and if he isn't going to try I am not going to try either.

I also had a date with the teacher... but my dear friends it is almost 1am and I should really be sleeping!

Until tomorrow

Xoxo
**ME**

when did aim become a daytime booty call?!

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I get home from work... exhausted...hungry...hot and once again exhausted. Not in the mood for male contact what so ever... all I want to do is start going to the gym again to feel better about myself...

and this is what i get

greytshirtguy (3:28:48 PM):	wannnnnnna get naked?
**ME** (3:29:30 PM):	i have a date with the gym
greytshirtguy (3:33:28 PM):	:( you never want to play whatever
**ME** (3:33:43 PM):	i gotta work on my fitnesss

Answered plain and simple because this is a brilliant blog entry. It is bad enough when a half witted, face only a mother could love manboy at the bar says this to you at 2am when you are the DD... BUT now we have to go through it at 3:30 in the afternoon?!

Rule:
this guy screams LOSER... and he is probably a Mets fan (just saying).

Rule 2:
IM History is AWESOME

Believe me... I almost wish I released the identities of some of these quality gentleman. But apparently I am too nice for that.

Xoxo
**ME**

When a relationship goes bad...

Hilarious discovery in Wal*mart by one of my besties on our search for "He's just not that into you"

I never want this card...however sad and yet insanely hilarious that a card such of this is in existence!

Troubled RelationshipI wish I could go back...
and not cheat on you
not lie to you
you're not my only baby mama
and cherish you
and care for you
and treat you with the utmost respect that any woman anywhere deserves

If you get this card... run.. FAR! Don't look back. Don't think aww he is changing because if you get all mushy over this card then when he comes the next time with a cute little build-a-bear with a recorded voice BECAUSE he messed up again...

Ladies... no one wants a cute bear that when you give it a little squeeze it says "at least you have this bear to hug"

Just saying... don't let it be you.

Xoxo
**ME**

Thanks to one of my besties for pointing out this card and to Wal*mart for carrying it!