Starbucks

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

End of March... it is getting cold and rainy... and I have recently gone on hiatus from any of the dating sites I was on. I'm sick of the same old guys trying to pretend they are worth getting to know, worth pursuing and worth pretending they are anything better than being just another mediocre man with nothing to show for himself but the ambition to become a rockstar... it's not going to happen.

So I sit in my familiar place at Starbucks. Drinking my caramel macchiato and sitting uncomfortably in my work clothes from that day. I know I should have changed before coming but I just didn't have the drive to go home listen to the family bitch about life... I needed time to myself to sit, drink my coffee and reflect on my life. Bettering my career by taking a course to be a certified director. Of what? You may ask. Well that is for me to know and you to well... not know. Keeping the top secret identity that is me :)

I was minding my own business... doing my work and people watching as they walk through the door... the business type... in their stilettos, button up shirts, ID tags, and jawbones. Looking half awake trying to find the right concoction to make it through another day. Quad grande cafe mocha skim with whip... java chip frap... skinny vanilla latta one splenda... lap tops are out and faces seem to have a blank expression as if to say they can't wait for the weekend... if they will even get a weekend. I pretend to be one of them... that I am so engulfed in my work at I don't notice Mr. Mid life crisis walk through the door...

oh wait... I noticed.. but only because I felt like eyes were burning through my skull.

I caught his eye and smiled. He could have been in his 30s... if I was being nice of course or possibly early 40s. He probably has kids close to my age. He looked over worked but like he was paid well for what he did. He bought a coffee and a muffin... and then looked over again. I blushed not really knowing what else to do.

I thought to myself maybe I will come into Starbucks more often.

He walked over and asked if anyone was sitting at a table close to me. I replied no and he sat down... I gathered my composure. He wasn't my dream man nor was he someone I would be thinking of going on a date with but his pure interest was intriguing to me. Mr. Starbucks asked me to watch his stuff as he ran out to his car... of course I did.. well out of the corner of my eye while forming a small smile and blushing slightly again. I think it was the pure fact that he was showing interest in me... a starbucks wedding crossed my mind... a bouquet of caramel macchiato's. Just kidding.

He was getting up to leave once again when he said...

"Excuse me... I don't do this but I would like to give you my card. I have to head to a meeting but if you would like to call me sometime you can."

I took his card, smiled and said maybe I would.

I kept the card... I never called but I kept the card. It gave the motivation I needed. I'll get back into my swing of manventures but I need to be picker... I need to be sincere... I need to find someone that will make me smile.

Xoxo
**ME**

The Optimist

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

The marine is back... as I had excitedly described in prior "real time" blogs so if you didn't read them you may want to check them out.

It is now almost the end of March...

He's not the same... and I knew that would be what would happen. They say they never come back the same when then return from over there... from Iraq. I really wanted to believe the marine would be the same man he was before he left... the man that gave me butterflies and made me feel beautiful even though he may not have even known it.

He is bitter. People suck. The world sucks. The guy who was happy and fun.

I told him things would get better. He just needs to adjust...but maybe I'm just an optimist.

Yeah.. and I'm a realist (so he said)

and that was that... I didn't message him back. What else was there to say? Maybe he just needs some time...

It probably wasn't meant to work out and it is probably better this way...

XOXO
**ME**

I gave up hiking for this?

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I will start out with a rule in this one.

Rule number? mmm not sure if I was even numbering them.. okay anyway. The rule is never cancel on a day with the girls with a guy you never met yet.

Mr. New in town well he wasn't so new. Moved to the area in January and we started talking (just so you know I almost wrote "stalking" which sadly could be true at times) in March. He wasn't anything too special...24, working at Home Depot, did some traveling but was rather dry. But, I never turn down the chance to meet someone new... well I shouldn't say that. Believe it or not I DO have standards. Ha.

It turned out to be a beautiful Saturday we decided to meet and well after pondering I what I should do turned down an adventurous hiking trip with my lovely cousins for a walk downtown with a dog. Not Mr. New in town, I mean he literally brought his dog. Maybe it was a clever way to pick up women but really when your dog is more interesting than you are... you should probably re-evaluate the situation.

He was dull, showed no interested and... well, I am surprised he was even able to walk without tripping on his oversized ego. Anyway, the walk lasted about 45 minutes we talked for probably a half hour of that... got to my car and he asked what we were doing next. I made up an excuse that I was going to having dinner with my sister so I would talk to him later...

We didn't talk later... probably better that way.

XOXO
**ME**

In the midnight hour...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

There is always one... whether it is at a bar, a party, or at the gym... a guy that draws in all your attention and makes you wonder what is behind that tough exterior.

Mr. Strong and silent was very much like that. He stands in the back of the karaoke room with a mutual friend a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He's tall and handsome with a strong look on his face. Emotion is probably something he does not show for the most part. He doesn't sing along to the songs or hit on the random bar hookers looking for a good lay. We have been running in the same circle (thanks to my cousin) for the past two or three years... orrr as long as I have been noticing him at the bar.

I blush when I get close to him... my palms sweat, my minds races and I usually end up saying something ridiculous or I just don't speak to him at all. But there is a rare opportunity was Mr. strong and silent smiles and it makes me want to smile back or at least find out why he is smiling. I have seen him with his fair share of random girlfriends or friendly girls... I am not sure which at times.

The one time I did talk to him I found out he was on a dating site I was on as well. He said he was giving up on it because the women he meets were not interested in a relationship as much as they were interested that he was a marine.

Yes, he is a marine... we allll know how I feel about this. Mmmm mmm good.

I already know what may or may not happen with Mr. Strong and silent but you will just have to look for more updates :)

XOXO
**ME**

He shoots... He misses

(March 5, 2009)

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

There comes a time...even when you think you find the perfect person when you step back and see everything they do that just doesn't fit the mold of "perfect". The Semi-pro was just that... the weather was still awful and his traveling wasn't getting any closer to coming to an end and we were not getting any closing to defining what "we" were becoming. Then out of the complete blue I get a call from him...

"I've been thinking about us and we should probably start dating"

My reply...
"We've hung out... what? once? I don't think that is grounds for a relationship and besides maybe you should make the effort to see me once in a while..."

his response...
"come up and see me tomorrow I will make dinner"

My response
"I'd love too"

Who am I?! Or in past tense who was I?! That naive to his game that I forgot were my head was...

I went... ate, drank, and as we were laying in bed the worst comment (if it even is a comment) I would ever want to hear...
I wish you were my girlfriend every night
Then I remembered the game and how much the game sucks. I was never to be anyone's night time girlfriend booty call (unless of course that was what we mutually decided on. Hey a girl has got to have game too...more on this later)

I left in tears... not because we weren't going to date but because I felt like I wasted yet another day on a guy who wasn't worth it. Friends save your "I told you so's" because yes... yes you did.

When I got home I deleted him from my cell, my buddylist, my facebook and myspace... yes my entire virtual world. This is the last time you will hear about me being with the semi-pro.

But honestly I am a hands on learner... so I will keep on learning :)

Xoxo
**ME**

At least the coffee was good...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

First off I have been slacking... I know! Not sure what it was loss of creative energy... a re-evaluation of who I have been choosing to date... but whatever it was or may still be I am back in full force catching you up and throwing in some new twists... what are those? hmm you will just have to wait and find out.

Bear with me I am finally coming to the end of February of 09... (I know this has been a journey) my last date of the month and well... it was quite an experience... It has been a long month of disappointments but there were some shining stars that came out of it. However, Mr. Coffee didn't really make the cut.

We met at a local book store for coffee and what I thought would be worthwhile conversation was... well just a regular cup of coffee. Mr. Coffee and I have been talking off and on for the past month I was never really terribly interested in him... there was no mystery, he wasn't a "bad boy", there was nothing I thought I needed to fix. He definitely wasn't perfect he was just there and well his interest in me was enough to keep my interest.

Of course being my classy self I showered, took time on my hair and makeup and wore a cute outfit... Mr. Coffee... well i will describe his outfit as... horrible it was like the guy was planning on the date being an entire disaster. I tried looking past the the fact his idea of coffee attire was a stained hoodie with what was either wood chips or ugh dandruff on the back, dirty jeans and horrible sneakers with mud on them. Honestly, I am not one to look at an outfit first but if it was at least clean I wouldn't have cared. At least I knew what I may be getting myself into...

Rule: Be yourself... if you always dress like a homeless person do it. Then I at least know I should start running... far

We went up to get coffee... I bought my own...

His teeth were so bad. His conversation was non existent.

But my raspberry mocha was really good and I bought some great new reads.

NEXT!

Xoxo
**ME**

Oy Vey! I'm back again...

I have recently been... again... on hiatus. Forgive me?? PLEASE! I have lots to update and even more to continue to tell you about. I can't believe that it is July already... this July it's been slow... not in the slow manventure way but in the I was crazy sick for about three weeks.


XOXO
**ME**

A childhood relapse...

I love being one of the youngest employees at work. The insights of all the women here is so amazing and to see their struggles and how much they accomplished of themselves and with their children is mind blowing. Now some of them in their 40s and 50s refuse to do any dating and prefer to have one male friend (with benefits of course) and it made me think how did I become this twenty-something amazing women who is so set on finding the love of my life no matter how many frogs I have to make out with... cause seriously we all can read I just don't 'kiss'.

I remember...
standing on stage in preschool and announcing I was going to be a nurse... not exactly what I do today but pretty damn close.

standing on the 'wall' in 1st grade because this boy kissed me on the cheek on valentine's day and I hit him in the face and made him cry...

having my first 'boyfriend' in fifth grade after he used my Lisa Frank paper to ask me to the 5th grade dance...then breaking up at the dance only to start 'dating' his friend...

and another

and another...

dating a guy in 7th grade just to be able to date one of his friends... then finding out that the new guy re gifted a necklace he gave me.. so I cut it up at lunch and threw it at him

my first kiss and getting in trouble at 8th grade dances...

falling in 'love' for the first time in 9th grade with a guy some people would say takes a special person to stand...

Watching Before Sunrise, 16 Candles, Say Anything and When Harry Met Sally over and over again wishing every teenage boy was John Cusack

getting my heartbroken in cars...
having my trust broken in cars...

dating my best friend and never talking to him again...

going through crush after crush... hook up after hook up...

falling in love in college and finding out the guy I gave up everything too was cheating on me the whole time...

being in denial about falling for my best friend and putting a huge hole in the friendship...

which brings me up to today...
hoping, waiting... wishing the next time the phone rings...the text message sounds...the next email I receive I'll be done looking

so future husband if you are reading this... I am not dating for this blog I am dating to find you

I won't give up and I won't be in my 40s with a friend with benefits

Xoxo
**ME**

A second run-in...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband,

The Dimples... I am addicted to them and to him. A good addiction though.. one that makes me want to really get to know him. And that is like a breakthrough for me when it comes to guys I meet at bars.

I'm sipping on a simply wonderful mixed drink I lovingly call a Woo-Woo cause when you drink one to many... you feel like WOO WOOOOO. Anywayyy one of my besties and I are picking out some great music to play for the night when dimples walks in with... well a lesser attractive man we will call the pimp (as in pimple but i am trying to be kinda nice here). Anyways... I casually make my way over to say hello. He sees me with his dimples and that smile and I could go on but I won't...

As the night goes on he is looking for music to play and I go over and try to be cute by making fun of his selections... well it happens he has great taste (if it was still the early 90s) and he ends up making fun of me... forever thinking my favorite song is "Like a Virgin" by Madonna. We all know that is far from the truth...

anyway after throwing down a few drinks (literalllyyyy haha just kidding) with my girlie we decided to go over to another bar to see our friends. As I am leaving Mr. Dimples says he would really like if I would stay and watch him play pool... I say I would really like it if he came with.... it was like a test to see who was in control...

he was... he stayed...

So I am at the next bar a little upset... thinking maybe i should go back over and watch him play pool and we could come back here and.... stupid girl this is not a fairy tale. If he wants me to watch him play pool then he will come and get me I refuse to be someones puppy dog.

He came... to see me! Greeting each other with a kiss and talking... and watching his dimples and eyes they seemed to smile with his smile. they are dark and full of mystery and passion. We exchanged numbers and he kissed me goodnight...

what will become of dimples... and can they be trusted?

Xoxo
**ME**

movie dates...are awkward...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

After the mess of dates I had been on in the past month or so I decided to give the teacher another go around.

Movie dates... who ever thought they would be a good idea? Most of the time I end up just making out or hooking up with the guy anyway... unless in the theater. Come on people! I am bad but not that bad.

I could tell it was going to be awkward from the beginning...

What we talked about and I was expecting...
His house he was going to make dinner...wine...dine...watch a movie get our cuddle onnn ow owww

What happened...

Awkward hug hello... he had to pick up the pizza... fridge filled of Smirnoff ice and beer... no tv? That's right not one tv... instead... which I should have known was going to appear since he is a tech teacher... a projector that hooked into his cable box and lit up his entire wall. It was fascinating... the biggest big screen tv I ever saw....

So I asked for water (but I probably should have drank) and sat down on the couch with some pizza... he... sat down the couch from me. Which totally makes it completely awkward!

I can't stand when people do that.. I automatically start thinking do I smell? Maybe I eat funny... or chew too loud.. or slurp when I drink... Maybe he isn't interested anymore... or maybe he is just that awkward...

As the night progressed so did his movements towards me and my interest was dimming... was the movie over yet? I mean at least it was with Sammy L who is a brilliant actor...

More pizza...more water...

As the movie comes to an end he has another one... great another movie... he says think about it and goes to the bathroom... I think can I get my shoes on before he gets out of the bathroom? He comes out as I am putting them on...

guess that is for the night then?

Yea.. I am really tired but the pizza and movie were great. Thanks so much for having me over.

(notice I didn't say I had a wonderful time with you... or your great... or let's go to Vegas and get married)

And with that I went into the bathroom. Almost wishing I would have just left... I didn't have to pee that bad.. well okay I did but this awkwardness of the date was more on my mind then how I shouldn't have drank all that water (but I probably should have taken the beer).

I walked out the the bathroom and we talked a little before I left. He reminded me which way to go to get out of this neighborhood and then... then he reached into his pocket and pulled our a breathe freshener... A BREATHE FRESHENER! Like a seriously spray mouth freshener... even if he didn't have garlic it wouldn't have matter there would be no late night hook up. He walked to the door and I gave him a head turned hug that screamed you will not be kissing me tonight buddy...thanked him for everything and said it was good seeing him.

He said we should get together again sometime.

I responded with just give me a call...

I wanted to scream when I got in my car... not in the heartbroken tears running down my face scream but a relief that is it over this is going to be a blog worthy movie date experience...

that makes me wondering... am I dating this strange men to blog or am I blogging to find the right guy? I am going to have to go with the second one... however if I find the right guy what will I blog about?!

Alright I should get back to work now.

Xoxo

**ME**