Me and my Sugar Daddy

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

It didn't take me long after the date with semi-pro and the divorced guy to get back in my dating groove. I put up new pictures, updated my info, and started once again to weed out the emails. I started talking talking to an army veteran who recently moved back from being based up north. We began talking just after the new year. He had something my other manventures had lacked... no I am not talking about a crazy sex drive or millions of dollars. He knew how to really communicate like not via four words in text i.e. how you doin babe? It could have been because this guy was 34 and just on the cusp of turning 35...which also happens to be my age cut off for all you sugar daddy's out there.

Conversation with the 34 year old was different then with the teacher. Now the teacher was really dry and I guess I was a little afraid to be myself around him...since all his other 'dates' were dumb and had no direction in life. I have a goal in life but I know I won't acheive it tomorrow... I like to do one step at a time instead of running up them like Rocky pumping my fists in the air.

We choose coffee (of course) as our first meeting. May I add this is the same coffee spot I went with the teacher and the level 10 clinger... the workers must think I am on work meetings because they are never flirty or intimate. I arrived at the coffee shop/bookstore early...figured I could make a run for it if he was nothing that I thought he would be...buttt like a good military man he was there even before I got there. He was good looking... a baby face for a 34 year old in a plaid shirt and baseball cap (that I could only believe was covering his receeding hair line). We stood in line for coffee and bought our own...what a first 'meet'... good thing I stopped at the bank before hand and didn't spend all my money on books! I've been getting very used to the manventures paying for my drink or meal...hmmm interesting.

He picked the biggest table that could probably fit like 4 people with room to spare and we sat directly across from eachother... yeah, that didn't feel like the most awkward interview ever

what I found out...

• He is a Mets fan (why meeee)
• A patriots fan (again whyyyy)
• His girlfriend of 7 years broke up with him in a letter while he was in Iraq
• His car just broke down and needs a million repairs
• He slept around a lot while in the service (not surprised)
• He carries a bottle of water with him everywhere because he is scared of being dehydrated
• He discussed going out with me with his brother-in-law (because of the age difference)

I liked him but wasn't feeling it... He made me feel young and like I didn't really live life yet... which is partially true. And I slowly got the feeling that as I was there looking to find the man of my dreams he was there to find the women of the night. Flattering...yes. What I was looking for? Not so much... at least not that day.
Hug. Goodbye.
Him: Can I see you again?Me: Yeah, why not
But, I had a strange feeling it wouldn't happen... would I be upset? For some reason yes...probably because I know that I am that awesome. Oh well... maybe I just like dating too much!
Next please!
Xoxo
**ME**

Not so 'hot' for teacher

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

The one thing I learned in high school (besides the normal reading, writing and mathematics) was what rooms were home for the fresh out of college hot male teachers.

Teachers... the single ones... that use dating sites; are sophisticated, intelligent and overall can hold a conversation. Well, at least through email. In person they are awkward and whiney and judging...

Well... while I was still 'with' the surgical nurse I began talking to a teacher. Harmless and if anything we started to form a bond. Once the surgical nurse... well I moved on to bigger and better things the teacher and I finally were able to go on our first date. A rather simple choice out for dinner and then if it goes well for some drinks/coffee.

He was adorably awkward and still had a slight cold which made his technical talk of computers even dorkier... The restaurant was loud, busy and they sat us by the bar. Conversation was... well I wouldn't write home about it. We did end up going out for some coffee after, a quieter atmosphere. He had... tea while I of course had coffee.

A sign, I should note; that things may not work out...
Coffee is my lifeline… one cup in the morning before work, during work and almost always after dinner. Ever since my first job at 15 I have been downing the amazing drink as if I was to not have it well I might as well not be able to function. Some people have blood coursing through their veins… my veins... well they are coursing with coffee. The point is I need a man that can handle coffee.

His conversation and demeanor was rather dull… well maybe that is an understatement. I think a lot had to do with him not feeling well, but at least I had my coffee.
Who knows if there will be a second date with this guy… I am just going to roll with the punches. Besides I have another coffee date coming up before the end of the week.

Xoxo
**ME**

Fairy Tales

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

There is something to be said about wanting a story book ending. The prince, once kissed turns back into a frog and that evil witch really just wanted to save you from the biggest mistake you can make.

My recent lapse in blogs wasn't because I met someone but that motivation wasn't there... Sick of the same old one date wonders. Tired of making myself think the second date will be better.

But then recently a guy emailed me and said that night he was going on a potentially horrible date. I don't want to ever get to that point. First dates are fun, exciting, nerve wrecking and always a new lesson. I told him not to give up on all the bad dates because they will...in turn... Make that one date absolutely perfect.

I'm not embracing bad dates...just the idea that the perfect date can't be that far away.

Xoxo
**ME**

I was on Hiatus... it was worth it

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

My friends I have returned and still have to get you all up to date. I would like to welcome all my new followers from metropolisoflove.com and my fellow tweethearts :)

Let's see... wow we have A LOT to catch up on.

Yes, I did take it one date at a time. The week after I went to see the semi pro I went on a date with a guy I will call 'the divorced' guy... except it wasn't until I was actually on the date did I find out he was divorced. Interesting.

I'll set the stage for his description. Divorced marine who recently became a father and is fighting for the rights to spend more time with his child... I'm an outreach program. I seriously find the most messed up men and hope I will be able to change their world.

There was a pretty bad snow and ice storm the night of our date... of course the weather here never can cooperate! Seriously?! Mother nature you should really be reading this, taking notes, and filling in my future husband! We meet up for coffee at a local diner. The coffee was delicious and the conversation... well I didn't have to pull teeth. I love coffee for first dates. Not a lot of distractions and your can't blame your actions on the coffee. We talked about our jobs, sports, family, likes, and of course the whole 'why are you even on a dating site' question(s). It went from an hour to almost three... like two old friends who had to catch up after years of not seeing each other.

Then the divorced guy says...
"so...you know how I said if it went well I'd ask you something"

yesssss

"would you like to come back to my house...we can watch a movie and get to know each other better"

(say yes say yes say yessss... is what my brain said) You're really great divorced guy but with the weather I should really get home.

awkward silence
After a few more minutes of the divorced guy trying to come up with the perfect plan he gave in and agreed another time. Sooner than later...

A sheet of ice covered the windshields of our cars and snow fell from the sky. He kissed me outside of the car... it was a deep, hot kiss the type when the kiss stops your face if still in that kiss pose and your cheeks are flush. Of course, I kiss back for good luck and get into my car. My windshield was covered with ice so I turned up the heat and music and waited for it to melt...there was a knock on my window and there was the divorced guy I unlocked my car door and let him in. Why not? what is a better way to melt ice then a hot make-out session in my car?!

The ice melted and we cooled off. The divorced guy wiped my windows before getting into his own car and disappearing into the night.

Another date may be in the works but for now I have to see what else is out there. I will not settle.

Xoxo

**ME**

A long wait

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

I found my self only days after I stopped talking to the Surgical Nurse, talking again to the semi-pro. I guess it would have happened eventually since I heard from him time and again during my wasted four months of the nurse. He was like my guilty pleasure, like chocolate is for my soul, the semi-pro was to my ego. Always telling me how good I looked, how amazing he thought I was, or how perfect we could be.

I feel for it... once a month

He just drove me absolutely crazy!

I wanna see you...come down...i want to see you...
Well, if you want to see me that bad then drive your butt down here. I refuse to take unnecessary trips for someone who may or may not be worth it.

Of course...the big bad semi pro has to go and get sick. So me being entirely too kind goes up to see him and make sure he is alright. Why? His parents live almost 6 hours away and the big bad man is a a mama's boy. We went out for dinner at a little Mexican restaurant and drank some very yummilicous Margaritas. Ola! Watched some movies and "layed around" the rest of the evening.

In other words... bow chicka wah wahhhh ;)
He fell asleeo and I left his place and made it home around 3am I found that the trip with definitely worth the long wasted four months. The Semi-pro is a much better guy than I thought he would be...

I have two other dates lined up for the upcoming week or two so I am not taking anything too seriously.

One date at a time...

Xoxo
**ME**

A New Year....

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,


Not the greatest way to ring in the new year...

"If he doesn't text...it's over" well... it definitely was good advice! Thanks friends!!

The surgical nurse did wish me a happy new year and like that it was over. The day time texts, night calls, and the butterflies in my stomach flew out in the form of tears. In fact one night he said we should talk soon and then he was gone...

He decided to disappear at a time when all I wanted was the one guy I truly had feelings for to hold me while I cried... Early January one of my high school and first hold communion partner died. I had all my friends but I wanted the nurse...I think it was then when I really realized I needed to move on.

Here's to the long country roads I won't have to take anymore

....so I moved on. You have too. Can't go back and change anything now and I realized the distance became his problem and his wall is there for someone else to try and break down.

I'd never learn to ride a bike unless I fell off a few times and I find roller coasters are more fun riding then standing on the ground watching. I got back on that unpredictable ride they call love....and not to forget the cliche saying of

"you gotta kiss a lot of toads before finding a prince".

I'm gonna keep on kissing...

So back on my site(s) I go announcing my newly found independent status once again...it's full of new exciting ventures and some old returns...
Mr. Semi-pro (he's back!)
The Marine (of course)
The divorced guy
The 34 year old
Mr. Coffee
and the teacher
....and more ;)

You will enjoy this new year of manvantures...
2009...Dating isn't a crime!!

My new rule.
Don't rule out anyone or single out anyone. This is just casual dating not a countdown to get married...well it kinda is...I wanted to be married by 27 (I'll be 25 in Sept) but I think I'll move it to 32.

Yeah...

Let's do this!


Xoxo
**ME**

If my hands stop shaking...

I will be able to type this...


the marine just text me. He's in allentown... I'm in allentown.

I have to pee i'm so excited


Xoxo
**ME**

Dear Santa send me a hot guy...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Christmas. December 2008. A joyous time of year with family, friends and snow. I love freshly fallen snow the kind that is untouched by any crazy kids or hyper dogs.

The surgical nurse becomes more and more distant and I... I am back on my dating site. Hoping he will come around and at least give me some kind of closure. I had at this point devoted a few months to a fizzling bond...which I once again can not let go. Oh a wicked spell this is...the lovebug. I..am painfully...slowly giving up without a fight. Why fight for someone who is fading. It's a lost cause.

I did take a picture (with my cellphone) of a row of Christmas trees and sent it to him...
just because he loves Christmas

Maybe...just maybe I shouldn't of opened my mouth when he was last here. Questioning him on the thought of starting a relationship.

Yet... then he calls me again. Talks about his day, hunting, and friends. I could just end it but unfortunately my friends... I can't... I could smile and pretend to be happy forever.

*****************
A few days after Christmas I received an email from the Marine. He is well. And should be home sometime this coming summer. We will see.... at least he takes my mind off of the surgical nurse every once in awhile


Xoxo
**ME**

PS. I am almost caught up only 3 months to go! haha :)

I wear my heart on my sleeve...

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future exes and my future husband,

Three weeks (just before thanksgiving Nov.08) after the surgical nurse visited he came down again...just for the night. No, not sleeping over but to officially meet most of my best friends.

**Special Shout out**
My bests are completely amazing. Many I am sure are reading some of these wishing i would share all my juicy details of nights out...and in. But, really they can pin point the potentials and the losers. I value ALL their input. LOVE you crazy kids!

Okay so back to this. He, the surgical nurse, I was starting to become crazy...head over heels for drove down once again. This time he stopped over and exchanged some conversations on hunting and his recent decision of quitting his job. What is that? Traveling nurses instead of being stuck in surgery for hours.

We left to meet up with my friends for happy hour and some kick ass sandwiches at a small but cute bar downtown. I drove. He didn't see to mind my driving...however...he was texting like a maniac. It was always his best guy friend bitching about his girl or one of the guys at home. I figured he was telling the truth so I let it go...

My bests liked him...us...how we looked together. I was incredibly happy with him but also incredibly confused. I feel like I have opened myself up to him and always answered his questions but...he was still so distant and unwilling to open up. The too noticeable need to always be on his cell texting was beginning to get rather annoying... and tonight it was

"This girl I was talking to over the summer. I told her it was over but she doesn't get it"

Maybe it is just me...just really wanting to read his mind. Try to make sense why if he does enjoy being with me on weekends and talking to me daily...why he is so distant.

We went out after happy hour for some much needed karaoke and allow for the surgical nurse to see my night out. What happened... he sat and text most of the night. We left the bar around midnight... and with a growing ache we walked to my car. Then the question I was waiting for... What's wrong? You don't seem like yourself...
It was like a flood...or more like word vomit
I just don't know where to begin...what to say anymore. I feel like I open myself up to you everyday and you..you just have this wall. I can't even try to begin to figure you out or what this is that we are doing.
I have been hurt in the past. you know that. It isn't easy for me to break down this wall.
...
Sometimes I get.. why are you with him, he lives so far away you think it will work
it has so far. who cares what they think. I'm not saying I believe them but you are so distant with the texting... i don't know "surgical nurse"
I drove home crying. Not balling, but the classic slow tears running down my face. I wanted to suck it up so bad and not show him how much I obviously liked him but I couldn't...I felt like I was giving it all (again) for nothing.

We got back to my house.
He kissed me like he always does.
The he was gone...

Ten minutes later he called to make sure I was okay.

I said yes.

I lied.

Xoxo
**ME**

Holiday Hiatus

Hi again avid followers, newcomers, future ex's and my future husband,

After a strange break from writing I am back and currently really working on catching you all up to the present time. :)

Xoxo
**ME**